Mar 9, 2021
Fantasy Mission Force (1984) (part 7 of 7)
Anyway, their jeep rides on, and now they come to an army base with a Swastika flag and an SS flag out front. Apparently, this is the site of their final battle, because Lily tells the others that “half a million is there! Let’s go in, and kill all of them!” It’s good to have a plan of attack and all, but does she have to sound so cheery about it?
The Force takes out the measly two guards at the gate, then they storm into all the cabins and begin firing at will. Unfortunately, they find out all the men inside are dead and sprawled out on top of each other. Someone, it seems, has already killed them hard. The team figures out someone killed all the “Japs” (I’m just quoting this movie, you see) and took the hostages. Why there were still two guards posted at the gate will remain a mystery.
Just then, Jackie Chan and Emily run up, but even they are completely in the dark about who killed all the “Japs”. Suddenly, an entire fleet of American cars [?] rides up, each with a guy on top holding a torch [!]. The cars ride around, and ride around, and this part goes on for, no exaggeration, forever, as we see the cars all have white swastikas painted on them. Finally, the swasti-kars stop and two men in Nazi uniforms get out. One of them says they have the hostages, and the other, possibly supposed to be speaking in a German accent, but sounding more Indian, demands the money in exchange for the hostages.
Screw-Up says he’s nervous and has to go pee, and somehow, this causes him to stumble upon suitcases full of money. That’s odd. All this time, I thought the money was just their reward for saving the hostages. Turns out, it was in this camp all along? Screw-Up wants to give up the money so the Japs will let them go, but Jackie says, “I’d rather have the money than my life!” Which somehow makes perfect sense. That’s how I know this movie is starting to warp my mind. The others concur, and they all decide to fight and keep the money.