Fantastic Four (2015), a recap (part 7 of 7)

Welcome back to our very first patron-only recap! The full article is available to those who pledge at least $1/month on the Agony Booth’s Patreon page

Previously: Victor returned from Planet Zero, and three minutes later decided to have his revenge on the people who rescued him. He murdered scientists, soldiers, Harvey “Big League Chew” Allen, and Franklin Storm. Our team of heroes were powerless to prevent him from… killing everybody? Trying to rule the world? No, actually, he just wanted to go back to the other dimension, and for that he had to be stopped at all costs.

Victor steps out onto Planet Zero, and takes a moment to put on a cloak that he clearly wasn’t wearing or holding when he got into the machine. Back on Earth, Reed sees that there’s still a bright blue glow where the Gate used to be, which means that Victor is “overloading the system”, which will “create a black hole that’ll swallow the Earth!” Where Reed is getting these ideas from, I have no idea.

On Planet Zero, Doom uses his mental powers to cause big rock pillars to shoot up from the ground. He then uses his powers to form a big rock ring in midair. The rock pillars link up with the rock ring, and a beam of energy shoots up from the Gate through the rock ring and into the clouds. Get ready for Doom using his rock powers a whole lot here, by the way. After this scene, you’ll be having nightmares about rocks for weeks.

“And now, the world will tremble before… the Rock Monster! Ah shit, that one’s taken…”

This same beam of energy somehow comes shooting down from the sky on Earth, directly over Area 57. Wait… what? Why? Oh, I see: it’s a plot shortcut to get our heroes where they need to be. Reed yells that this beam is “pulling everything into the other dimension!” And for the rest of this scene, Reed basically narrates everything, because there’s no way to understand a damn thing that’s going on without his constant voiceovers. Frankly, I don’t even know how Reed has any clue what’s happening.

The four of them get sucked up into the energy beam, and Johnny flames on and flies into the beam, while Sue forms a force field around everybody else as they get carried up, along with lots of debris and even a military plane or two. As they descend upon Planet Zero, one of the planes passes through the rock ring and instantly disintegrates. This will obviously be important later,  because Sue tells Johnny to push her force bubble out of the way so they don’t get vaporized.

Hey, at least we finally know what happened to MH370.

They all land and stare up at Doom’s giant beam. Reed narrates some more: “The matter from Earth is being converted to energy!” I’ll have to take his word for it.

He says they have to stop Victor, because he’s the “source”, and Johnny flies toward Doom, but then Doom lifts himself up on a rock pedestal and sends lots of sharp rocks shooting at Johnny, which cover him and put his flames out and cause him to crash. And then it’s Ben’s turn to go on the attack. This time, Doom causes a bunch of heavy rocks to stick to Ben, weighing him down.

“Yeah, I know, it’s time for me to think about going on a diet.”

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Multi-Part Article: Fantastic Four (2015): a recap

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  • Chris Mingus

    If there’s one upside to the Fox buyout, it’s that maybe the next time someone makes a Fantastic Four movie, maybe it’ll actually be because they have a story they want to tell rather than a soulless corporate decision.

    And actually treat Doom right. He’s not just some asshole who hates Reed Richards, he’s Lex Luthor crossed with Tony Stark with sorcery that would make Dr. Strange blush.

    • There was supposedly a Dr. Doom movie in development at Fox, but with the buyout it’s not likely to happen. But that’s one of the few solo villain movie ideas that would actually work. Hell, if Venom can get his own movie, then surely Doom deserves his own movie too.

    • David Klopotoski

      Well, it’s owned by Disney so a soulless corporate decision is likely. The question is whether it will be a soulless corporate decision you like.

  • Jordon Davis

    I keep rereading this page, thinking that I just forgot to finish the recap. Then I’m reminded that the movie just … ended. I don’t remember a movie being this deeply unsatisfying in a long time.