Fantastic Four (2015), a recap (part 6 of 7)

Welcome back to our very first patron-only recap! The full article is available to those who pledge at least $1/month on the Agony Booth’s Patreon page

Previously: After an apparent year of absolutely nothing happening in the lives of our heroes, they all got put to work by the military, much to the dismay of Sue and her dad. Meanwhile, Reed was on the run in Central America, where despite his crafty brownface disguise, the government was able to track him down and use Ben to apprehend him.

Reed is now on a military plane being kept in a holding cell, while Ben sits guard beside him. Reed asks Ben if his condition hurts, and Sad Ben says he’s “used to it”. Reed promises to “fix this”, but Manic Depressive Thing says nobody can fix this, and he “stopped believing in your bullshit a long time ago.”

Reed says they used to be best friends, so Ben makes Reed look at him just so he can say, “I’m not your friend.” It’s safe to say this Thing is absolutely nothing like the tough, wisecracking, ever-lovin’ Thing from the comics. Yes, Ben in the comics would often get angry and bitter over his condition, but not anything close to this.

It’s blubberin’ time.

Their plane lands at Area 57, and Harvey is there to greet them. And once again, he’s chewing gum. What the fuck? Does this guy own stock in Wrigley’s?

Yeah, that’s how it feels to chew 5 Gum.

They soon have Reed in what looks like an interrogation room, where Sue pays him a visit. She says she had to help bring him in, because they need his help to finish the Gate and find the “cure” on the other side. Reed asks her if he ever wonders what life would’ve been like if she “hadn’t come to the science fair that day”, and like, huh? What a moment to reminisce about old times.

She says, “We can’t change the past. But we can change the future,” and now I do believe a good chunk of this screenplay was written by a slightly advanced AI. She says this is Reed’s chance to “make a difference” just like he said he wanted to back in the library, and she leaves. And I’m assuming this scene was part of the reshoots, because Sue is again wearing a wig, but to make matters worse, it seems to be a totally different wig.

“Actually, I’ve just been getting my hair done every hour on the hour. It’s a thing I do.”

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Multi-Part Article: Fantastic Four (2015): a recap

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  • Chris Mingus

    You wouldn’t think they could make a worse Doctor Doom than the early 2000s version, but they found a way.

  • Kradeiz

    “Trident gum: bursting with flavor!”

    Not gonna lie. That would make a hilarious gum commercial.

  • Jordon Davis

    Why does anyone care if Doom goes back to the stupid planet/dimension/thing? Let him. Then roll the credits.