Faded Movie Star/Political Has-Been Gets New Role on Television 

celebrity apprentice logo

The department of “Sure, why not?” and NBC recently announced that Arnold (The Gobernator) Schwarzenegger will be replacing Donald (The Racist) Trump on The Apprentice because 11 years of The Apprentice is just not enough. This from the same people who decided five seasons of Community WAS enough and told us we were NOT Welcome to Sweden.

I bet he's farting right as this picture is being taken

Trump either got fired for calling Mexicans rapists or resigned because NBC is full of losers who disagree with his common sense approach to immigration, depending on which press release you read. Schwarzenegger, having driven California to the verge of bankruptcy as governor and not being a “natural born US citizen,” making him ineligible to run for president (not that that stopped some people), will not be able to ditch NBC for the politics, probably.

Furthermore, we all know the great love Arnie has for our neighbors to the south.

So NBC will be switching out the white man that bankrupted a bunch of businesses for the white man that nearly bankrupted the eighth largest economy in the world. That’s progress.

escape-plan-arnold-stare

Could they have gone another way? Maybe waited for Carly Fiorina to drop out of the race and picked a woman who nearly drove a company into the ground, which seems to be a requirement of the job? Maybe not. Back in 2005, when they gave Martha Stewart a shot at a spin-off, it was a ratings disaster, so better to stick with a man-boss. Then again, Martha Stewart, despite that hiatus in jail, never went bankrupt, so she probably wasn’t qualified.

We look forward to playing the guess-what-Arnold’s-catch-phrase-will-be game, which is already very popular on every single television show announcing this momentous news, though personally, loving the classics, we’ll go with “Hasta la vista, baby.”

 

Marion Stein

Marion writes television recaps and reviews for the Agony Booth, and books you can find over at Amazon.

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  • sewaneepat

    You’re terminated is my guess or some variation thereof.

  • I bet the first three people fired say, “I’ll be back.”