RAW FEED: F.A.T.A.L. RPG: Character Creation Part 2: Physical Features

We use the game’s unnecessary, broken, and contradictory character generation system to decide what our character looks like.

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  • Jay_Bay

    No lie. I almost turn this off during the intro. Not because of the offensive language (which is just plain crass), but because of the math. They could not find a easier way to determine “retard strength”? Good Lords…

    Didnt know about the blacks were in England, though it makes sense. And I knew about the black guy on King Arthur’s Court, I guess I just didn’t think about it.

    Why is this so detailed? Just, why?

  • Maxine of Arc

    The thing that gets me is that the guys who wrote this are undoubtedly super proud of all these damn charts. And the “retard strength.” If you find my jaw, I think it fell right off after I heard that and I think maybe it rolled under the couch. And I needed it again once we got to areola diameter, and I have a feeling I’ll need it again.

    Ah, Byron. I’d suggest he look up “fistula” and how it works, but let’s not encourage this asshole. Also “hymens.”

    I think I hate Byron Hall about as much as he hates me.

    But Peter Dinklage is hot. I’ll agree on that.

    • Solkir

      He absolutely is. In fact, I found this review of the game, to which he and his friend make a point-by-point rebuttal. They copy/paste the entire review, and insert their own commentary explaining why people only dislike FATAL because they’re stupid and emotional. It’s very enlightening about what kind of people were behind this thing. After I complete this series, I’m going to read off some actual quotes from it.

      • Maxine of Arc

        Ah, “emotional.” That almost seems like code for “YOU KNOW, LIKE WOMEN.”

        • Jay_Bay

          I think that was their intent. Ass monkeys, the lot of em

  • Animikean

    7:23, kitty!

    It seems like he comes up to you and says, don’t worry Solkir, you’ll get through this.

  • seiler88

    Call me an optimist, but I think what the author was going for in the “skin color” trait was to cover himself in the cases of non-humans. Take dwarves for example, in many universes dwarves can have stone-like skin colors and even people of African decent have variations in skin coloration though I understand that it is much lesser contrast than Europeans (human skin can be strange).

    • Solkir

      Nah. The guy just decided to remove all non-european influences from his world and make it so that black people (who were, in fact, present in medieval europe) just don’t exist anywhere in the world. Apparently you can do that and still be “historically accurate.” And then there’s dark elves, which just muddy the issue further.