Super Tough Guy David Brooks Not Sure That Bamz Has Enough Cojones For A Real Man Like Vladimir Putin

New York Times columnist David Brooks, whose only real expertise is chronicling the lives of the slightly disaffected but mostly pretty happy upper middle class exurban dweller, decided to go on “Meet the Press” Sunday to explain how Obama just isn’t man enough to handle the Middle East. Let’s go to the tape to hear Brooks’s fact-free slurring!

“[L]ets face it, Obama, whether deservedly or not, does have a — I’ll say it crudely — but a manhood problem in the Middle East. Is he tough enough to stand up to somebody like Assad or somebody like Putin? I think a lot of the rap is unfair, but certainly in the Middle East there is an assumption that he’s not tough enough.”

We know, we know, we know that people like David Brooks fap to the idea of bare-chested strongmen like Putin running the world while crushing the effete Barack Obama with their manly bare hands, but we don’t often see it expressed quite so nakedly on things like Press the Meat unless it is perennial guest John McCain urging war with somebody, anybody really. Maybe someone could write to David Brooks and ask him to keep it in his pants as regards Vlad the Shirtless and Friends, and maybe keep in mind that soft power (heh) is also actually a way of getting shit done on the world stage.


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  • Ambignostic

    What’s the opposite of a national treasure? David Brooks is that.

    • A schmuck? Athlete’s foot? One o’ them jumping carp?!? THIS IS SO wait, what’s the opposite of turgid?

      • Force Crater

        Crap. Poop. Stool. Excrement. Turd. David Brooks.


    Is Ukraine or the the Israel/Palestine region areas where America will be greeted as liberators, as Brooks promised we would be in Iraq?Sorry killing bin Laden and all those drone strikes aren’t manly enough for you, David. But then, as someone who never served in the military, you would know what it is to be a real man, wouldn’t you?

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    The Right seems obsessed with POTUS’ testosterone.Because you gotta be bombing and invading stuff to be in the He Man club.

    • He does bomb things. The problem as far as Brooksie’s assessment goes is that he doesn’t “shock and awe” bomb things! Along with lots of tanks and stuff moving around shooting stuff. Real men don’t worry about “actual threats” or “collateral damage!”

  • Poly_Ester

    David Brooks wears pink shirts!

  • smitallica

    Umm, David, when Obama threatened to do the tough-guy thing of bombing the hell out of Assad, the GOP (you know, YOUR team), shit their collective pants. Remember?

  • MichaelG

    Thanks for spelling cojones “cojones” instead of “cajones” like every other fuckwit out there. Sincerely,Bilingual Pedant

    • Charles Wolf

      Huh,,, they are not spelled Cupholders”?

  • DrV57

    Somebody might also too want to remind David Brooks that Russia isn’t in the Middle East.

  • Haribo Lector

    Listen, just because Assad backed down and agreed to get rid of all Syria’s chemical gas weapons when Obama threatened military action, doesn’t mean Assad is scared of Obama.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      funny how they ignore that part

  • whomakestherules

    Maybe we should bring back the guy with five deferments and that awol guy with the codpiece? Maybe, Brooks just doesn’t get hard like he did in the old days and would need a midget too. Maybe like the old maid in pants that ran the defense department before she became rich selling the government flu remedies.

    • Brendan_M


  • John

    Clearly, obama needs to prove he’s tough by attacking a country that has nothign to do with anything, just like super-duper strong man George II

  • DeSwiss

    Aww, Little Davy’s s trying to live for his eulogy…..

  • glasspusher

    I bet Bamz could take Vlad and David any fucking day of the week in a game of hoops. Just sayin’

  • chadingo

    Brooks just gets turned on by topless Putang on Shetland ponies