Evander Holyfield Is Your New Gay-Hatin’ Free Speech Hero, England

Hey, did you know that Celebrity Big Brother is still a thing that is on teevee in merry old England? Us neither! But now we do, because boxing great Evander Holyfield showed up to explain to his housemates about how being gay is unnatural and just like being handicapped.

Responding to [housemate] Luisa who said that openness about sexuality was good “because it is normal”, born-again Christian Evander shot back: “That ain’t normal”.

With Luisa suggesting that they should not have such a conversation, the Alabama-born ex-slugger insisted that he wanted to explain.

“If you were born and your leg were turned this way – what would you do? You go to the doctor and get it fixed back right?” Holyfield said.

He continued: “All I’m trying to tell you, you know how handicap people are born?

He’s just trying to tell you! Jeez, people. Also, it was just a private conversation, except for that part where it is on a teevee show.

Holyfield reasoned in the Diary Room that he understood why expressing such views was offensive to many people, saying he had forgotten his opinions in a conversation could be focused upon.

“It is not like I would mention it to anyone else, it was just our conversation,” he said as he was warned about his future conduct.

Yes, it is hard to forget when there are cameras set up all around the room that you’re not just having a cozy little private tete-a-tete where comparing gays to handicapped people is ALWAYS appropriate. Everybody knows that. But now people are mad at him, which is unpossible and unfair.

Lord knows we’d never stand for this Holyfield-oppressing in the good old USA. Why not be out and proud about your confusing idea about how being gay works? Instead of being socialistically frog-marched off a faux-reality show, Holyfield should be rewarded with another season of his teevee show, because of truth, justice, and the Duck Dynasty way.

But apparently in communist England if you try to speak truth to power and talk about how the gays are just broked-up humans, you get shot down by the gubmint for free speechifyin’ just like Ted Cruz and Sarah Palin argled and bargled about.

Channel 5 could face an [British government media regulator] Ofcom investigation after the regulator confirmed viewers had complained about Celebrity Big Brother contestant Evander Holyfield saying being gay “ain’t normal” and can be “fixed”.

The broadcasting watchdog confirmed on Monday that it was assessing several complaints, but would not confirm how many. “No decision to formally investigate has yet been made at this stage,” an Ofcom spokesman said.

Man, Ted and Sarah better get on a boat and sail across the ocean blue and meet with the Queen of England to explain to her that there’s this little thing called the First Amendment and if the Queen breaks it she’ll have to go to jail. Don’t they teach the Constitution in England anymore? They probably took Jesus AND the Constitution out of their schools, the socialist Limey bastards. Thank god we can send them a dyed-in-the-wool true blue friend of free speech like the Mama Grizzly to learn them about how they should be not be intoleratin’ haters as long as they are gay haters, because the Bible says it is cool to hate them. Now, if you say mean things about Sarah Palin, then you should be drawn and quartered, or put in the stocks, or hung in the town square, or locked up in the Tower of London or however they do it over there.

Consider yourself warned, England.

[The Mirror/The Guardian]

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  • Nixon, etc.

    Hey England, an “ex-slugger” is a former baseball player, you bunch of hoity-toity MORANS.

    • peteywheats

      Was he a pitcher or catcher?

      • Nixon, etc.

        Hah! Niiiiiiiice!

  • elvigy

    Jeez, people, all he’s asking is that you stop bornin’ handicapped people and shoving gay stuff down his throat and you jump all over him.

  • Kentsoul

    “Broked up humans”. Priceless.

  • Jaime Oria

    Anyone who turns on the electric teevee machine with the intent of watching Celebrity Big Brother has foregone the right to complain about pretty much anything…

  • bumfug

    Evander’s still confused by that strange tingling he got in his loins when Tyson’s breath was warming his ear as Mike bit the lobe off.

  • Chow Yun Flat

    Dementia pugilistica– Holyfield has taken a few too many shots to the head.

  • mondojohnson

    Sarah Palin can emulate her hero Paul Revere, and warn those Hob-Nobblers that they aren’t gonna be takin’ away our homophobes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS4C7bvHv2w

  • Farb

    Omnimath Evander shows once again that those involved in a “sport” that involves beating the piss out of someone else, and often resulting in brains more scrambled than the scrambled brains required to induce someone to participate in more scrambling, can indeed process “thoughts”, or what appear to be “thoughts”, in some manner that indicates there was once a rational person in there somewhere, maybe (but not always).