Relax In Your Retro-Future Bachelor Pad And Listen To Esquivel’s ‘Frosty The Snowman’

There’s a lot of terrible instrumental watered-down stuff that gets played during the holiday season, especially because there’s no other way for those oldies channels to play 30 days straight of Christmas music otherwise. It’s so bad that it can make you forget that there are really great things out there. There are also really weird things out there, but great and weird are not mutually exclusive. Exhibit A: Esquivel’s Merry Xmas From the Space-Age Bachelor Pad.

Esquivel was a kind of forgotten about lounge music guy who got hipster-rediscovered in the 1990s, and the world is all the better for it, seriously. His music is awesomely space age. It sounds exactly like someone from the late 1950s/early 1960s thought music would sound like in the future. Clearly we’d add lots of strings. And xylophones. And harpsichords, but only harpsichords that sound like synthesized harpsichords. And in the future, vocals would become superfluous, passe, and we’d really only need a chorus to occasionally sing “zu-zu” on occasion.

OK, actually, I probably would have been just fine with this future, but I tend to believe that pop music peaked circa Dionne Warwick/Burt Bacharach/Hal David, so I’m a poor judge. Anyway. Esquivel did Christmas songs because OF COURSE HE DID CHRISTMAS SONGS but those often didn’t make it onto a record. Thankfully, they were all scooped up at the height of the retro lounge craze and compiled into one record. You can thrill to a perfect example of the zu-zu chorus above by checking out “Frosty the Snowman.” You also want to make sure you listen to “White Christmas” because it has the ultimate in lounge music pileup: horns plus piano plus chorus plus xylophone plus maracas plus jingly sleigh bells plus everything.

Now that we all live in the future, tell your boss you’re taking the rest of the day off, take your hovercar home, have the robot mix you up a perfect manhattan, put on your incredibly expensive and somehow really complicated headphones, and listen to Christmas a la Esquivel.

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