Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives! (1989) (part 7 of 12)
Cut to Diane’s apartment, where she takes off her wrap and hangs it on the arm of a lamp [?]. Eddie has his painting, which he says he’ll come back for when he has the money (If he didn’t buy it outright, why would the stick-up-his-ass gallery owner let him leave with it?). They discuss Rick wanting Eddie to join his band, and when Diane says, “Why don’t you?” Eddie grumbles, “You wouldn’t understand.” This, my friends, is Eddie Wilson in a nutshell. No one understands him. You see, it’s sorta like being Neil Armstrong, or maybe Pepé Le Pew. Unless you’ve experienced walking on the moon, or falling in love with a cat that you’ve mistaken for a skunk, you just wouldn’t get it!
Eddie wants to know why she cares, and she says she just does, which leads into this lovely moment:
| Eddie: Diane, I don’t want to hurt you.
Diane: Then I just won’t let you. [Grabs the back of his neck and pushes her tongue down his throat.]
All together now: Ewwwww! Mom and Dad, stop it! And as for this “I won’t let you” business, let me just say right now that Diane eventually proves as competent at this as she is at painting.
And now, the sex. Excuse me while I fast forward. I would love to give you juicy details, but frankly they kiss like muskrats and it’s creeping me out. (When people make out, as a rule, there should be much less chewing than what’s on display here.)