Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives! (1989) (part 5 of 12)
Cut to a terrible band performing in a bar, and it’s finally time to meet Rick Diesel, the winner of this movie’s hard-fought race for Most Annoying Character. Rick is on stage, all badass in a leather jacket and morning hair, with sax blower Hilton Overstreet and a bass player who looks like Joey Lawrence after being put through the Dweeb Machine. Joey is actually wearing a bandana around his neck (in which decade was that considered cool again? Oh right, none of them), which evidently marks him out as the vocalist, which is good, because from the sound of his voice you’d assume he was the manager, or possibly a roadie. Truly painful singing is combined with equally painful lyrics to create a black hole of suckitude, relieved by the relative competence of Rick’s wailing lead guitar and an almost-cool sax break from Hilton (what is he doing with Rick, and what are either of them doing with Bandana Boy?).
At this point, we see the waitresses are wearing t-shirts that say “American Rock”, which must be the name of the bar. I can see the kids now. “Hank, I’m tired of Canadian Rock. Let’s do something different tonight.” “I know—let’s go get some of that American Rock!” “Whoa, buddy, slow down. Let’s not be too crazy!”