Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives! (1989) (part 3 of 12)

We get a look at the stage, and I guess the look-alike contest is also a sound-alike contest, because the contestants are on stage taking turns performing… Well, guess what song they’re performing? This sound-alike component is a lucky thing, because as we pan across the hopefuls, who are all standing at the back of the stage wearing black ’80s muscle tees and trying not to fidget, we get hilarious confirmation that not a single one of them looks the slightest bit like Eddie Wilson. There’s even a beefy guy who must have gotten lost and thought he was at the contest for Reb Brown look-alikes. (Now that would be big news.)

Caption contributed by Mark

Guys, the Backstreet Boys look-alike contest is down the hall.

Alas, it’s not a sound-alike deal; Our waiter/actor/performer is merely lip-syncing (or perhaps limp-syncing is a better term) to the same cut of “On the Dark Side” that we just heard five minutes ago. During this, there’s a long shot of the Calvin Klein models—sorry, I mean the “Eddie Wilson look-alikes”—as they watch the current contestant performing. They’re all trying to look butch and stoic, except one of them is ever so slightly grooving to the music. You just can’t resist the charms of John Cafferty, I tell you. I know the music in this movie had me up and dancing. No, sorry, that was just my colon.

Caption contributed by Mark

Slip to the dork side, cross that line…

Meanwhile, the clown on stage is still fake-singing, pushing his lips out like a low-rent Mick Jagger, and the crowd is going nuts, clapping over their heads like they’ve never experienced rock-and-roll before, like they’re rock-and-roll virgins, for Pete’s sake. Cut to Bill Cosby, looking bored. I mean, to Michael Paré, trying to look—well, what do we s’pose Eddie is feeling here, as his old nemesis Satin Records exploits him all over again? Annoyance? Helplessness? Rage? Constipation? Who knows? From his facial expression, the last one seems most likely.

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Mark "Scooter" Wilson

Mark is a history guy, a graphics guy, a guy for whom wryly cynical assessments of popular culture are the scallion cream cheese on the toasted everything bagel of life. He spends his time teaching modern history at Brooklyn College, pondering the ancient Romans at the CUNY Graduate Center, and conjuring maps and illustrations for ungrateful bankers at various Manhattan monoliths. Readers are welcome to guess at reasons why he's nicknamed Scooter, with the proviso that all such submissions are guaranteed to be rather more interesting than the truth. Mark lives in the Midwood section of Brooklyn with a happy-go-lucky, flop-eared dog named Chiyo who is probably, at this very moment, waiting patiently for her walkies.

Multi-Part Article: Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives! (1989)

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