Unlock with Patreon
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013)
May 8, 2014
Dungeons & Dragons (2000) (part 1 of 10)
The Cast of Characters:
Ridley Freeborn (Justin Whalin). The movie’s requisite Chosen One, a bratty thief with a grudge against mages, a mysterious undefined destiny, and an ego the size of Narnia.
Lord Profion (Jeremy Irons). An evil wizard who wants to control dragons so he can take over the kingdom of Izmer. Hammier than a hoo-hah of Al Pacinos.
Empress Savina (Thora Birch). The ruler of Izmer, who wants mages and commoners to have equal rights, Savina blends the wisdom of Abraham Lincoln with the charisma of a log.
Snails (Marlon Wayans). Ridley’s partner-in-crime, a thieving, cowardly, comical black man. For people who wish Jar Jar Binks were more offensive and annoying.
Marina (Zoe McLellan). A low-level mage who stumbles across Profion’s plot to take over the kingdom. Snooty, arrogant, and stuck-up, and the film’s most likable character.
Damodar (Bruce Payne). Profion’s evil henchman. I don’t know what the deal is with his lips either.
Ridley Freeborn (Justin Whalin). The movie’s requisite Chosen One, a bratty thief with a grudge against mages, a mysterious undefined destiny, and an ego the size of Narnia.Lord Profion (Jeremy Irons). An evil wizard who wants to control dragons so he can take over the kingdom of Izmer. Hammier than a hoo-hah of Al Pacinos.Empress Savina (Thora Birch). The ruler of Izmer, who wants mages and commoners to have equal rights, Savina blends the wisdom of Abraham Lincoln with the charisma of a log.Snails (Marlon Wayans). Ridley’s partner-in-crime, a thieving, cowardly, comical black man. For people who wish Jar Jar Binks were more offensive and annoying.Marina (Zoe McLellan). A low-level mage who stumbles across Profion’s plot to take over the kingdom. Snooty, arrogant, and stuck-up, and the film’s most likable character.Damodar (Bruce Payne). Profion’s evil henchman. I don’t know what the deal is with his lips either.To read the rest of this article, support the Agony Booth on Patreon.
Latest Comments