Unlock with Patreon
Hit or Bomb? November 2019 movie predictions
Oct 30, 2019
Dune (1984) (part 10 of 11)
Back to the Fremen, with several of them using the Weirding Way in a very unfortunate pose that makes them look like they’re practicing for the Pebble Dance. And if you don’t know what that means, just wait until my Last Airbender recap.
No. I refuse to accept that the Macarena survives this long!
Then it’s montage time, as Irulan narrates that pretty much the same thing happens repeatedly over the next two years, plus Paul’s freakish sister is born and named “Alia”, and the love between him and Chani keeps growing. Wouldn’t it be nice to actually see this stuff? But we’ll have to be satisfied with superimposing another kiss over the attacks, because that’s how Lynch rolls.
“Gimme some sugar, baby.”
All of a sudden, we’re in the middle of a battle with some smugglers, and Paul runs into Gurney. Yeah, it makes no sense as presented, but who cares? Patrick Stewart’s back! They hug, and Gurney joyously calls Paul by his old nickname… which might have been touching if we’d ever heard it before.
“What do you mean, I’m still in the movie? Roddenberry promised he’d get me out of this!”
Cut to some Spacing Guild members as they fill in the Emperor about what’s happening on Arrakis, assuming anyone can actually be made to care again about these characters who haven’t appeared since the film’s first scene. They threaten the Emperor with life in a “pain amplifier” if he can’t get things back under control, without offering any explanation for how it’s possible for them to threaten him like this. And none of this is in the book, so I’ve got nothing.
To read the rest of this article, support the Agony Booth on Patreon.
Ryan Lohner
Ryan lives in Sparta, New Jersey, a quaint little burg without much for kids to do except go to the movies. Thus began a lifelong love affair, as even back then he grew to love examining why a film worked, or didn't. He is a member of the Sigma Tau Delta English Honor Society, and currently studying for a Master's Degree in Library and Information Science. His hobbies include running, piano, and annoying people with that damn lowercase forum user name.
Latest Comments