Duggars issue kissing challenge, Wonkette responds in Wonkette fashion

Wonkette has issued a challenge for you godless liberal nogoodniks to go troll the Duggar family on Twitter and Facebook.

Here at HNTP, we’re typically content to mock from a distance, middle school cafeteria-style. So what new outrage has forced Wonkette to call the troops into close combat? It’s all because momma Michelle Duggar had the UNMITIGATED GALL to stand up in public and declare that married people kissing is perfectly acceptable and healthy behavior, as if!

Oh, Michelle, you’ve got too far this time.

The controversy, such as it is, began with this photo:

19 kids jessa ben kiss

That right there is one “Jessa Duggar” kissing her lawfully wedded husband, “Ben,” square on the lips. And if that wasn’t outrageous enough, the wanton trollop then posted it to her instantaneous-pictogram application!

Ick!

Yucky!

Depraved!

And if there’s anything Wonkette loves, it’s icky, yucky, depravity… so what exactly is the problem here?

The problem, as always, is the evangelical Christian right. According to Michelle, those whiny, pissy, holier-than-thou moral scolds are criticizing her poor little baby girl for her online exhibitionism. And that’s bullshit, because nobody—NOBODY—is more holier-than-thou than Michelle Duggar.

Feel the righteous indignation in this Facebook post:

God designed marriage to be a loving, dynamic relationship between a husband and wife for a lifetime. God loves marriage and it is supposed to be full of love, joy, fun and romance. Marriage is where romance belongs! Recently, Ben & Jessa received some criticism for posting a kissing picture. We are so grateful they waited to share their first kiss until after marriage. We’ve been married 30 years and are still in love! We had fun trying to duplicate Ben and Jessa’s happily married kissing picture. We challenge all married couples to take a happily married picture and post it here.

So courageous! So bold!

So open to mockery…

19 kids twitter kiss request

But those are just silly. Other godless liberal trolls had something much more poignant in mind…

19 kids kiss tweet And that’s where Wonkette comes in…

We know you can help, Wonkers! Post your happy gay-married pics to show just how happy you and God are — the fact that you haven’t already been fried by lightning means God is quite happy for you, after all. […]

Also, since it’s entirely likely the FacePlace will start deleting pics of gay couples, go ahead and tweet those puppies as well. This needs a Twitter hashtag. How about #GayAwaythePray?

And once again I’m left daydreaming, as I so often do, “if only I were gay”…

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  • Jesse

    Dammit Rick! Did you have to put that picture so big on the front page? I’m going to have creepy Duggar porn dreams tonight now…..