Dov Charney Waves Dick At Your Million Dollar A Year Offer, American Apparel
American Apparel canned founder Dov Charney just because he loved to shove his wang in his employees’ faces, like that is even wrong. Now Dov Charney gonna sue for the damage to his spotless reputation. Oh, and also: they only offered him a million a year to stay on “in a creative capacity.” OUTRAGE.
Why, it’s almost as much OUTRAGE as the poor sad Wall Street trader man who is suing because he only got an eight-million-dollar bonus, which shamed his sainted mother, who had to hide from the neighbors due to her nogudnik loser of a son. (Obviously, she was ashamed of the measly “bonus,” not the lawsuit. Lawsuits over bonuses are just the American Way.)
Say some words with your mouth hole, Dov Charney’s lawyer!
According to sources familiar with the situation, Charney was given two options: either step aside quietly and take a creative role that would pay around $1 million a year, or face being fired with cause.
“By presenting Mr. Charney with this absurd and unreasonable demand, the Company acted in a manner that was not merely unconscionable but illegal,” [lawyer Patricia] Glaser claims in her letter to the board.
Absurd and unreasonable indeed, Ms. Glaser, Esquirina! Why, everyone knows that multiple sex harassment lawsuits, “rumors in the newspaper” (masturbating in front of a reporter EIGHT TIMES), and doing a Pee-Pee Dance nude at the office (NSFW unless you work at HappyNiceTimePeople.com) are certainly not the kinds of behaviors that usually lead to a million-dollar-a-year job offer. That’s reserved for fucking Grandma Millie up the ass.