Apr 25, 2019
Donald Trump Simply Does Not Care For Gay Ram Michael Sam’s Erotic Food Play
Did you magically become a St. Louis Rams fan when Michael Sam joyfully kissed his cute boyfriend after Saturday’s draft? US TOO! Donald Trump and his fellow idiots at Fox & Friends, however, did not! The several kisses were closed-mouthed and respectable, because Michael Sam only gets naughty on video when there are gay lesbian ladies throwing panties at him. (He is a lover, that Michael Sam.)
But even so Donald Trump thought it was “kind of out there.” And everybody else on Fox & Friends got VERY MAD because some bigots in the NFL got fined by their private employer for tweeting bigotty shit about Michael Sam kissing his boyfriend, and FREE SPEACH!
Now now now, don’t get Steve Doocy wrong, they’re not talking about Michael Sam’s gay kiss, no no no, no, not at all! They are just asking why Tim Tebow got LITERALLY crucified for being a Christian — you all remember when we took turns pounding the nails into his hands and feet, while dancing naked for Wicca? — but here is a Miami Dolphin and he got fined for tweeting something, who knows, it is deleted, and now he has to get RE-EDUCATED.
Way to go, NFL, now you are as bad as POL POT!!!1!
Then Donald Trump started going on about something about a gay cake, who even knows, it makes as much sense as anything else that thing on top of his head whispers to him.
Oh, here. We found this video of the gay cake … OF DOOM.
Case closed, Michael Sam and his boyfriend will burn in hell for all eternity, for being “out there” with their food.
You don’t even want to know what they do with rutabagas.