Donald Sterling, Bad Penny, Will Never Stop Turning Up

we beg you

It seems like only last month we told you racist fuckwit Donald Sterling was going to profit from the sale of the Los Angeles Clippers to the tune of the budget of a small country or so, except it was superduper complicated and involved him being declared mentally incapacitated by his own wife. Good times. You did, of course, know that this was not going to be the end of Donald Dumb, right?


First, Sterling sued the NBA, but then he pulled the suit and was ostensibly supporting the deal, probably because he would be making a kazillion dollars from the sale of his not actually all that great basketball team. Now he’s no longer supporting the deal and the suit is back on because Donald Sterling is a meatsack of hateful entitlement who will never go away.

Donald Sterling issued a one-page statement dated Monday titled “The Team is not for Sale” and said that “from the onset, I did not want to sell the Los Angeles Clippers.” […]

“I have decided that I must fight to protect my rights,” Donald Sterling said. “While my position may not be popular, I believe that my rights to privacy and the preservation of my rights to due process should not be trampled. I love the team and have dedicated 33 years of my life to the organization. I intend to fight to keep the team.”

“While my position may not be popular” may be the understatement of the decade. Donald Sterling, nobody likes you. Nobody! Oh, except fellow idiot traveler Donald, Donald Trump. He thinks you’re pretty neat, but that is not actually a good thing.

Sterling being Sterling being an asshole, he’s trying to spin this like he was all set to drop the suit but then the NBA done him dirty and lied to him about how they’d totally modify his fine and ban and probably buy him some chocolates and cuddle with him, an argument to which the NBA essentially responded “haha NOPE.” We’ve never loved a conglomeration of capitalist pigs so much.

The weirdness of this lawsuit also too means that even if Sterling wins, he’s winning against himself, basically.

Shelly Sterling utilized her authority as sole trustee of The Sterling Family Trust, which owns the Clippers, to take bids for the team and ultimately negotiate a deal with Ballmer. […]

An individual familiar with the negotiations who wasn’t authorized to speak publicly said Monday that there were two options for Donald Sterling — to either sign or go to court. But even if he wins in court, he’s ultimately winning a judgment against himself because his wife Shelly Sterling has agreed to indemnify the NBA against all lawsuits, including by her husband, the individual said.

The deal, if it goes through, also allows the lady Sterling to spin off $200 million or so of the sale into a charity that she and possible future owner/gazillionaire Steve Ballmer would run.

Man, Shelly Sterling must hate him SO MUCH. We would. Of course, we’d hate ourselves for ever having married an angry bag of skin like Donald Sterling, so she is probably operating from some really really deep levels of self-loathing and revenge here. We wish her all the best. Good luck and godspeed.

[ABC News]

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