Jul 16, 2014
The DirecTV Puppet Commercials Were Probably Made By A Sociopath
The nightmarish world of DirecTV’s marionette ad campaign is a horrific hell-dungeon of disturbing imagery. My main question is this: what genius ad guy at DirecTV’s ad agency of choice said to himself, “You know what would really bring in new subscribers? A commercial where a bobble-headed body dysmorphic ladypuppet fuck toy tries to sex her human husband!” If you have no idea what I’m talking about, please check out the following video clip.
Another question for the creative exec who designed this commercial: exactly how many lady-bodies do you have buried in your basement?
The puppet-woman is whiny and insecure, a pathetic figure of fun and a sexual object all at once. The man is totally chill and turned on, bro. There is some tangential connection between the concept of wires and the concept of a satellite television product. And everyone feels enormously creeped out. Seriously, just Google “DirecTV” and “puppet” and “creepy,” and you will find some magic.
From a business standpoint, the biggest problem with the DirecTV puppet fuckery is that it obscures the value of what is actually quite an excellent product. I have DirecTV. I like DirecTV. But I’m honestly considering switching simply because this campaign is so wrong-headed, so stupid, so embarrassing to behold and so weirdly, creepily sexist in a dark scary sex murder kind of way. Like the vibe I get isn’t, “Oh wow, that lady is sexy, let’s look at her boobies” (which is fine, we do that here all the time, we are not opposed) but rather “Oh wow, that lady is sexy, let’s wear her skin.”
Or maybe DirecTV just unwittingly hired a director whose life’s ambition was to re-create the thrill he got ten years ago, after he bought the unrated, explicit puppet-sex version of Team America: World Police.
I posted about this on my Facebook and some dude was like, “Is it wrong that I think she’s hot? LOLOLOLOL” and I almost blocked him because I’m pretty sure he fucks American Girl Dolls in the store at night and then puts them back on the shelf like NOTHING HAPPENED.
What do YOU think? Sound off in the comments, humans (and puppets. If you are a puppet, this site is a Safe Space for puppets.)
IMPORTANT UPDATE WITH INSIDER INFORMATION: A Facebook person typed this tip on Facebook! “Haha I auditioned for this. It was so creepy. The casting director was like ‘This is going to be a terrible commercial, there’s no way to actually make it funny because it’s not, so just pretend you’re a puppet and make the striptease part as awkward as possible.'”