Degrassi Junior High “The Great Race” (part 3 of 4)

Cut to Melanie and L.D. on a front porch somewhere, drinking McDonalds shakes. Whoa! Athletes really do eat at McDonalds! All this time, I thought it was just Olympic gold medalists selling their souls for endorsement money. Shows what I know.

L.D. complains that Jason is “sexist” just like her brothers. But Melanie’s tuned her out. Her mind is totally on Snake. She worries that Snake thinks she’s just a little kid, when in fact she’s almost a teenager. What’s more, she’s “a passionate teenager, whose dumb mother won’t let her buy a bra!”

L.D. has had enough. She grabs Melanie by the arm and takes her to go buy a bra right this very minute. Cut to the two of them at a department store, standing in front of the WonderBra display. Ah, WonderBra. 20 years of falsely getting men’s hopes up. That really should be the company’s official slogan: WonderBra: 20 Years of Falsely Getting Men’s Hopes Up.

Caption contributed by Albert

It’s a wonder they sell a bra small enough to fit Melanie! (Sorry.)

The two girls giggle like, well, schoolgirls at all the bras. Melanie is having second thoughts about buying a bra, so L.D. calls her chicken. Melanie insists she’s only a little bit chicken, “sort of like a chicken wing, without the legs or breasts!” This is easily one of the stupidest lines ever spoken on this show, but it allows L.D. to basically go huh huhhuh you said breasts!

Melanie worries about what her mom will say about her wearing a bra. L.D. says not to worry. “You can change at school, like Stephanie!” Christ. Could there be a worse role model for the girls at Degrassi Junior High than Stephanie Kaye? I swear, if the school administrators would only expel Stephanie, I’m positive standardized test scores would go through the roof.

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Multi-Part Article: Degrassi Junior High "The Great Race"

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