Sep 28, 2009
Degrassi Junior High “It's Late” (part 3 of 4)
Cut to a Degrassi stairwell. Arthur is explaining to Yick that he has to put Melanie in the “right mood” before asking her out, and she won’t be able to turn him down “after a compliment”. And so, they stop for a moment so Yick can “practice” his compliment one more time. And in this “practice” session, Arthur will be playing the role of Melanie. This is going to hurt.
Yick grasps the banister and rests his chin on his hands, and looks deep into Arthur’s eyes and says, “Your eyes are so blue, they remind me of swimming pools!” Jesus, that’s horrible. Swimming pools? How is that even a compliment? Your eyes are so blue, they remind me of chlorinated cauldrons of bacteria!
Suddenly, Arthur looks mortified. You guessed it: two other boys have come along just in time to overhear Yick hitting on Arthur. The boys in question are Tim the Terrific, currently carrying a French horn, and Snake, whom the boys were actually stalking in a previous episode. They both have big “what the fucking fuck” looks on their faces as they very carefully walk past Arthur and Yick, most likely guarding their backsides the whole way.
As they pass, Arthur says hello to Snake, and Snake responds with a hilarious, “Yeah, okay, Arthur,” like even he can’t believe Arthur has the gall to say anything to him right after doing the gayest thing Snake has ever witnessed with his own eyes (so far). All I know is, Yick better ask out Melanie very, very soon. Otherwise, by the end of the week the entire school is going to be convinced that Arthur and Yick are a couple.
Yick is in luck, because they immediately spot Melanie. So Yick fights through his nervousness, walks up to Melanie, and says, “Your eyes are so blue, they seem like pimming swools.” Damn. Fucked over by a Spoonerism. Isn’t that always the way?
Before he has a chance to correct himself, Melanie starts laughing hysterically, and Kathleen is there too, and also laughing. And they’re both going “What? What?? What are pimming swools??” Yick is slowly disintegrating before our eyes. Without another word, he runs away, but stops momentarily to turn to Arthur and yell, “Broomhead!” Arthur calls after him, while everyone in the stairwell stops and stares. Okay, I take back what I said. I don’t think they’ll have to wait for the end of the week for everyone to be convinced that they’re a couple.