Deafula (1975) (part 3 of 10)

Cut to later, and the police have arrived on the cliff. And guess who’s the detective on the scene? Come on, guess, I dare ya. Yep, it’s the American Detective, and I can only assume his English Assistant Detective is not far from the scene. In fact, there seems to be a rope tied to the rear bumper of the Detective’s car, and it’s stretched taut. I wonder if that means anything.

The scene opens with the Detective turned away from the camera, and zipping up his pants, with the obvious implication being that he took a leak right there on the crime scene. Wow. Perhaps he’s mentally impaired, as well as hearing impaired.

The Detective gets in his car, and OMGWTFBBQ. Instead of a radio, he has a little Teletype machine in his police car! He gets on the typewriter-like keyboard and types something. Ladies and gentleman, the birth of text messaging. He nods in agreement at whatever’s coming back across the ticker. We’re given no clue as to what this conversation is about, because it’s not dubbed in voiceover, and the words on the ticker aren’t visible.

Caption contributed by Albert

“IDK, my BFF Jill?”

He gets out of his car just in time to see his Assistant coming up over the cliff. Yes, the Assistant actually used the rope tied to the car’s rear bumper to climb down the cliff. He’s out of breath, gasping that the two people down there were killed by a vampire. The Detective, consummate professional that is, just tells him to “let the lab boys investigate down there! It’s not your business!” Truly, the hardest working detective since the Inspector from The Howling: New Moon Rising.

He even adds, “It’s not your business! Let the police take care of it!” Wait… I thought these guys were the police? Why are they investigating murders if they’re not the police? What, is this a crazy hobby for them? Is Angela Lansbury going to happen along in a minute or two? And if it’s none of the Assistant’s business, why did the Detective let him climb all the way down the cliff in the first place?

To read the rest of this article, support the Agony Booth on Patreon.
This is an archived post. This post is available to patrons who pledge at least $5 on Patreon. Pledging this amount gives access to all archived articles on the Agony Booth.

Click “Unlock with Patreon” to sign up with Patreon or to log in with your existing Patreon account.
Already a qualifying Patreon member? Refresh to access this content.
Multi-Part Article: Deafula (1975)

You may also like...