Deafula (1975) (part 10 of 10)
Fade in to Steve approaching a suburban home. Deaf vampire calling! He steps inside, and I guess this is his house, actually. He sits on his bed, getting introspective over a photo of his dead father. By which I mean the Preacher. And not his other dead father, Dracula. And it’s not a picture of the midichlorians, either. Come to think of it, maybe that’s why Amy was so insistent on using the phrase “your father, the preacher”. She genuinely wanted to avoid any potential confusion.
Cue flashback of the Young Preacher signing his mass. Back in the present, Steve tenderly sets the photo down on the pillow, along with yet another crucifix that doesn’t burn him. “All things are delivered to me from my father,” Steve signs to nobody in particular. “And no man knows his son. But my father saves his son!” You mean, his son Steve?
And now, we cut to Steve himself in a preacher’s collar, delivering mass to his own congregation. Guess what, everybody? Your local clergyman is a vampire and a mass murderer! And for the next few minutes, all Steve does is recite a passage from the Bible (something from Matthew, in case you care). Which, as many a bad filmmaker will tell you, is a fantastic way to pad out your movie’s running time.
Steve the Preacher says, “All you people, beware of the Devil coming here!” He goes by the name of Steve! He may have a beard!