The Daily Show Presents College Partying Tips For Guys And Gals (Video)

The Daily Show Presents College Partying Tips For Guys And Gals (Video)Here’s a nifty Daily Show sketch for colleges to file away for new student orientations: following several notorious cases of sexual assault on campus, Jordan Klepper and Jessica Williams offer tips for smart partying — for bros, reminders to not embarrass yourself, and for the ladies, reminders that the bros may very well rape you. Jon Stewart introduces the bit with the story of a case at James Madison University, in which three frat dudes assaulted a woman and videotaped it. Their punishment was to be “expelled upon graduation,” which to Stewart sounded an awful lot like what you might call “graduation.” But they’re also banned from campus, so that’s serious at least: “no alumni tailgating, no reunions, no bringing your kids back to show them where you abused girls.”

The Klepper and Williams sketch is a pointed exercise in contrasts. For the guys, Klepper offers “Party Commandment No. 1: Beer before liquor, never been sicker.” And the Williams, for the gals: “Never lose sight of your drink, ever. Don’t be a doofy, watch out for a roofie.”

And it escalates from there, ending in a reminder to save all your crazy ex-boyfriend’s harassing texts, emails of his junk, and video of him “standing outside your window watching your sleep’ (Damn you, Twilight!). “Just save it all, OK? The college and the cops won’t do anything, but maybe it will help you with your civil suit.” On the other hand, Klepper offers, lamely, “Bros before ho’s.”

It’s a nice play on the “Open Carry Do’s and Dont’s” that The Daily Show brought us a few weeks back, with Klepper (he does get the clueless white male role a lot, doesn’t he?) explaining that you should always explain the purpose of your open-carrying an AR-15 in a restaurant, and Michael Che insisting “when you bring your gun to a restaurant, DON’T be black.”

TV Show: The Daily Show

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