D.C. Businesses Woo Idled Government Workers With Exercise, Food, ‘West Wing’ Marathon

D.C. Businesses Woo Idled Government Workers With Exercise, Food, 'West Wing' MarathonBecause Washington D.C. workers are both super fancy AND nonessential, there’s a veritable plethora of things to keep the unemployed masses off the streets. You can eat, drink, knit (?!), hook up with strangers…basically all the things you used to have to cram into your off hours. Now, as time stretches endlessly before you, you’ve got to amuse yourself 16 hours per day, unless you up your sleeping to like a solid 12 hours daily, which isn’t really an unreasonable response to government-created-clusterfuck unemployment.

If you really want to while away the hours in proper political style, you should likely get yourself to Sixth And I Synagogue, where the friendly Jews will be providing you with constant streaming of the “West Wing,” so you can fap to fantasies of what a functioning government looks like.

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Throughout the day, there will be Political Ping Pong (red versus blue, with photos of certain government officials on the paddles), bipartisan board games, reading materials, constant streaming of The West Wing, and an informal meeting space with all of the essentials for non-essentials — free coffee, food, and Wifi. If the shutdown drags on, Sixth & I hopes that Shutdown Central will evolve into a community incubator. Anyone who comes is welcome to lead a short session in the area of his/her expertise (i.e. teach yoga, share social media best practices), collaborate with a fellow furloughed employee, or any other activity to help turn an opportunity loss into something substantial.

President Bartlet would get this nonsense fixed, that’s for sure. But first, Donna would suffer an existential crisis at finding out she’s non-essential, Josh would say something dumb, Sam would be earnest, CJ would deflate a Fox reporter’s “gotcha’ question, and Toby would move from hangdog exasperation to righteous speechifying.

(h/t tipster Beth)

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