VIDEO: Cyborg 2 (1993)

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It’s Cyborg 2, starring a 17 year old Angelina Jolie in her first-ever lead role! Completely unrelated to 1989’s Cyborg with Jean-Claude Van Damme, Cyborg 2 takes place in a future where the world is ruled by corporations, who use espionage cyborgs loaded with explosives to assassinate key targets. Angelina is destined to get blowed up good, but she learns her fate and goes on the run with Casey Jones from TMNT, while being pursued by a mostly off-screen Jack Palance. 

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  • Sofie Liv

    It’s just typically Hollywood actress’s and actors, they want to sound so smart by panning down the movies they were in the general big dumb public don’t like…
    But only when it’s safe! Lord forbid any-one ever say any-thing bad about a burton movie, then he might not invite you back to his massive cash checks!

    Jolie is just one lucky women with all those opportunists she had and still complained about feeling like she was ugly, so yeah…

    nice review :)

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      Yep. They never badmouth the big movies or they get what happened to Megan Fox. She was speaking honestly about Transformers 2 and Spielberg had her fired.

      Ugh, Burton. He was one of my favorite directors until he started his string of garbage remakes. His movies may make bank now but they will never be remembered like Beetlejuice, Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, and Ed Wood. The guy who made those doesn’t exist anymore.

      Thanks! Glad you liked it. :)

      • Sofie Liv

        Have you seen the trailer to Burtons “Dark Shadows.”
        I had the weirdest feeling when I first saw it.. I really badly want to see that movie and I don’t know why. Especially since Alice in Wonderland, Charlie ext pretty much killed my enthusiasm for Burton.
        Only reason I can honestly think off of why I want to see Dark shadows so badly is that the trailer honestly reminds me of Beetlejuice..

        I did :)

        • Cecil_Trachenburg

          I don’t know how to feel. Burton’s last good movie was Sleepy Hollow and that was 13 years ago. I just can’t get excited because ultimately, I know its going to end up being crap.

          There is a part of me that hopes for some sort of return to former glory but I just don’t feel that with Dark Shadows.

          • filmguy450

            “Big Fish” was great! Aside from that, yeah, you’re pretty spot-on!

          • Cecil_Trachenburg

            I keep forgetting about Big Fish. That was one I keep hearing is good but haven’t seen it. I’ll have to bump it up on my Netflix.

          • Concerned

            Write something about that movie for next time.

          • Cecil_Trachenburg

            I’ll keep it in mind.

          • Sofie Liv

            I like Big fish.
            But lots and lots of people hate it to no end.. and I think I know why, I think I view it quite differently than most movie goers.
            just saying.. don’t have to high expectation, there’s really a lot of hate around that movie, and I don’t know you well enough to know where on the divide you would stand.

          • Cecil_Trachenburg

            I’m usually pretty good at going into a movie with an open mind despite hearing people talking positive or negative.

            I’ll go in with an open mind.

          • Nuclearman

            Sweeny Todd was okay but apart from that I think Mars Attacks was his last good film.

            I don’t know whether his style is wearing thin but since he’s been doing the reimaging Burton and Depp’s careers have been down hill.

          • Cecil_Trachenburg

            Ed Wood is one of my all time favorite movies. I love and adore it. I just can’t wrap my brain around how the guy who did that is the same guy who did Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

            Sweeney Todd annoyed me. I was yelling at the screen for a good portion of it.

          • Sofie Liv

            I’m with you on that one. Ed Wood, fantastic movie. Easily among my fave Burton movies (And I like Scissorhands to.)

            Sweeny todd.. slaughtered one of the funniest edgiest stage shows out there.
            Bohman carter purely slaughtered all of her songs, she had three different freaking fucking songs meant to be upbeat, quick and staggato, and she sang them weakly and legato making them feel so slooooow, I was pulling out my hair when she sang. “Worst pies in London.”
            And as much as I like Depp, neither is he a singer nor that well casted as Sweeny.
            A story which were originally so edgy and lively presented on stage just seemed dead and dull on screen.
            There was one scene I liked, only one! “by the sea.” had my laughing for the whole entire section as I saw it in cinema, and that is granted, an accomplishment to have me laughing for three minutes straight.. but the rest of the movie kills it, and those three minutes is not enough to safe it.

          • Nuclearman

            Ed Wood and Batman are Burtons best movies by far.

            Well I’ve never seen the stage show so I can’t really compare but agree with you that Carter and Depp couldn’t sing like at all in that film (also Depp needs to stop trying to do a the British accent). Mind you Pretty Women was done alright I thought.

          • Cecil_Trachenburg

            Even though Batman Begins blew Burton’s Batman away, I’m still a really big fan of Batman Returns.

          • Cecil_Trachenburg

            Bonham Carter is just awful. She drains the life out of almost every movie she is in…which just so happen to mostly be her husband’s.

            Depp seems to be too focused on trying to “out weird” himself in ever role. I’d rather him just go back to making movies like Nick of Time and The Ninth Gate.

          • Connie333

            “Bonham Carter is just awful. She drains the life out of almost every movie she is in…”
            watch her in anything by Merchant-Ivory.

          • Cecil_Trachenburg

            I’ll check em out. She was good in Fight Club but 90% of what I’ve seen her in has been Burton productions.

          • CBob

            There’s a version of Shakespeare’s “The Twelfth Night” made in the late nineties I think with her as the countess (and Ben Kingsley as the bard- the character, not Shakespeare himself) which is good IMO.

  • MephLord

    If there is any movie Angelina Jolie should be ashamed about it, it’s Wanted. Nothing at all like the comic, and even though it featured great actors was pretty painful to watch. And Beowulf? Sorry I’d rather read the poem. Wanted, as a comic property had so much potential for greatness but had the proverbial Hollywood cheese thrown in, to make it somewhat forgettable. And to do that to a great actor like Morgan Freeman is pretty damn insulting, at least in my opinion.

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      I never read the comic (despite the fact that I have the trade sitting on my shelf) so I had no ties to it. I know a few people were pissed at how it wasn’t like the comic but I enjoyed it quite a bit. From a visual standpoint, I thought they did some amazing, fresh stuff that I haven’t seen before or since.

      Watched Beowulf, thought it was expensive meh.

      • Concerned

        She probably doesn’t even care what she does anymore (so long as it’s not this movie of course). She’s achieved what she’s wanted to achieve and thus can semi-retire from doing movies that have any semblance of good in them. (OK, that’s a bit of a lie. Changeling wasn’t a bad movie at all in my opinion.)

        • Cecil_Trachenburg

          Her choices seem to be very odd lately. Salt was ok and I liked Wanted but I have zero interest in The Tourist or any of the Kung Fu Pandas. I guess she is just focusing more on being a mother of about 50 children.

  • Nuclearman

    I don’t think Angelina Jolie has ever been in an actual good film so I don’t know why this is the one she’s ashamed of. The film itself looks like fun.

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      For me the movies she is proud of are the ones I thought stunk. (Bone Collector, Girl Interrupted, Kung Fu Panda)

      I guess maybe she feels this one is “below” her now…or at least it was in 2001 when she said the movie made her sick. I don’t know if she changed her mind.

  • Mike

    You can watch this movie for free on YouTube movies, BTW.

    If one is so inclined, that is.

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      and it’s actually a legal copy up there from Lionsgate, so you don’t have to watch it in 15 minute chunks. (I think it has ads though)

      It’s also on Netflix instant.

  • Bouncy X

    is it wrong that i wish i could pull the 17yr old angelina out from my screen into my room?

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      Not at all. I wish the same thing.

      • FullofQuestions1

        What you two plan on doing to her once you pull her into the room however…

        • Cecil_Trachenburg

          Most likely it would be awkward and then I would just call her a cab to get her to the airport.

  • Hey Cecil,

    Nice review. I’m a pretty big fan of your reviews so I look forward to the new ones.
    Jeez… who knew there was a sequel to “Cyborg”?! Sarcasm aside, I actually liked the brief tie-in to the first film. A Van Damme cameo, though, would have been pretty awesome.

    I have a strange question for you regarding this movie…
    If Angelina Jolie was 17 at the time of the movie production, how was she nude (topless)? Isn’t there a law that actors have to be 18 to do nudity in films? Or was that a body double? If so, then that makes sense… unless that body double was also 17 years old… ugh.

    Hope you have the answer to this one. Thanks. I look forward to the next one.

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      Thanks!

      I have to wonder if the film would have stood better on its own without the tie in to Cyborg…or would it have faded away completely? A Van Damme cameo in anything is awesome.

      To answer your other question, this is right from the director Michael Schroeder.

      “It’s her first movie, but I read probably fifty actresses and model types, and it was really difficult to find somebody who had the cyborg quality but still has some kind of presence, and when this girl came in, I knew she had what it takes. Then I found out she’s only seventeen, and we can’t mess around with labor laws and welfare workers and school teachers. I just didn’t have that luxury; I had to shoot, shoot, shoot. She had just finished high school; she had done her junior and senior year in five months – I wish I could have done that! Then I found out later that her father is Jon Voight, so the acting’s definitely in her genes. He knew a judge and made some calls, and we got her emancipated, because she had been living on her own for quite awhile. She just needed to file and get a judge to agree to it, so then we could just work, and we didn’t have to give her special treatment. And she’s a tough girl; she hangs in there until the last shot of the day. She was the most mature seventeen year old I’ve ever met.”

      California Penal Code Section 311.4, states that no one may employ or use a person under 18 to create a visual depiction of “actual or simulated” “sexual intercourse”. There’s an exception relevant to this film, though: “This section does not apply to a legally emancipated minor”

      :)

      • Cool. Thanks.

        I’m surprised no one asked about this before my post. I guess a lot of viewers here are/were comfortable with topless teenagers… especially ones named Angelina Jolie. ;)

        • CBob

          Age of consent varies a lot from county to country. I think 18 in the US is actually on the higher end of the scale: in most other countries 17 would be okay. So depending on how broad The AB’s readership is, that might be part of it.

          • Connie333

            There was a similar problem with the film “The Hole”. Keira Knightly was 15 and a had a (very brief) nude scene in it. Apparently it’s ok if you have parental consent when filming in the UK. It does seem pretty morally dubious though.

          • Connie333

            Oh enjoyed the review, Cecil, forgot to add that!
            (No love for Mr and Mrs Smith though? I’m a mostly heterosexual female and it’s worth watching for Angelina Jolie’s bad-ass dominatrix scene alone;)

          • Cecil_Trachenburg

            Thanks! :)

            I thought Angelina looked the part and I like Brad Pitt but I felt the whole thing was very slow and very self indulgent. Also, I can’t stand Vince Vaughn.

            I was expecting it to be much better, especially since Limon directed “Go” which is an awesome flick.

          • Cecil_Trachenburg

            I know other countries are less puritanical than the US is about nudity. However, even I think it might be asking a lot to have a 15 year old take her top off on film. There is a big difference that can happen mentally between 15-17. (oh and I did see the Hole and thought it was a very good movie) Keira Knightly did turn out quite well though, while on the flip side Lindsey Lohan never appeared naked (on film) and look at the mess she turned into.

            In the grand scheme that isn’t nearly as bad as the horrific parents who are on shows like “Little Ms Perfect”.

          • Hey Cecil,

            Wasn’t Lindsey Lohan naked in “Machete”? That threesome scene in the lake, right? (Sorry if i spoiled that for anyone…)

            Oh yeah… I second Delawaredad’s opinion. Your reviews are the best this site has to offer from the ones I’ve seen. Only Albert’s written reviews are king to yours.

          • Cecil_Trachenburg

            She was…sorta. There was a body double for the lake scene and then later her hair covered her nipples the entire time.

            Thanks! I’m honored to be held in such high regard.

          • Cecil_Trachenburg

            Yep. Most other countries are the opposite of the US with violence. They get away with nudity while we get away with violence. Kind of messed up when you think about it. They are ok with showing someone getting shot before showing someone a naked breast.

        • Cecil_Trachenburg

          I personally prefer my teenagers topless lol :)

  • Goblinsoldier

    You are doing an outstanding job. Continue the good work.

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      Why thank you! Glad you are enjoying them.

  • Delawheredad

    Cecil,

    Your reviews are, without a doubt, the very best that this site has to offer. To be frank there are some hosts on Agony Booth whose videos I will not watch after my initial exposure. I look forward to and search out all of the Angry Orange Productions . You have a deep knowledge and appreciation of these kind of films and your knowledge and love come out in every frame of your videos.

    Some folks here don’t seem to have a clue or are so annoying that their videos are unwatchable.

    Do you have a direct website?

    Sincerely. Delawheredad

    • FullofQuestions1

      Yup, this site has nothing but losers, especially that kid who reviews mysteries- she sucks!

      In all seriousness, I think you’re entitled to your opinion in how awesome Cecil is, and if you don’t like some people on the site, that opinion is fine too. I hope I’m not too annoying for your taste.

      • Delawheredad

        Actually, Full of Questions,

        I have not watched either of your two videos yet. You were not the target of my comments. Good taste and fairness prevent me from being more specific. In addition to Cecil I also give unreserved praise to the Fear Fan.
        As to my opinions on certain others let’s invoke our mother’s famous advice … “If you can’t say something nice …”

      • Cecil_Trachenburg

        This reminds me, I need to check out your show! (been busy over here, haven’t been able to view some of the new folks yet)

      • Sofie Liv

        Yeah, you looser you…
        I like your stuff if that helps.

        Well I certainly hope I don’t come up as clue-less as I actually do a lot of re-search for my videos.. annoying is another matter entirely though, I have a certain style and some people might find it pushy and annoying, not much to be done about that :/

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      Wow thanks for the praise! I’m glad you are enjoying them. I’ve always had an affinity for “bad” movies and it’s nice to know others feel the same.

      If you want to see more of my ramblings you can check out goodbadflicks.com

  • Kev

    “What the hell is wrong with his face?” OH MY GOD, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR FAAAAACE!

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      lol yeah, that was a little homage to Plinkett :)

  • Jeff Bradford

    Dude, I love your punchout endings! You just HAVE to end it in a bad note to some other movie/actor. It just leaves so much to talk about. Another awesome review.

    By the by, what’s with all of these new video review shows? Is Agony Booth getting desperate for updates?

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      Thanks! I’m a big fan of the punch out. I don’t do it every time but sometimes it feels right to just get the point out and cut. Glad you are enjoying them.

      Not desperate, just trying new things I suppose. Videos bring in more traffic and in order for the site to stay afloat that is what it needs. Sure there is going to be some growing pains but I think in the end it will be for the best.