Apr 29, 2018
Cormac McCarthy’s Ex-Wife Arrested For Waving Handgun Pulled From Her Vagina. Also Something About Aliens.
The Smoking Gun brings us the almost perfect news story of Jennifer McCarthy — the ex-wife of your favorite novelist Cormac McCarthy — and how she was arrested for aiming a silver handgun at her boyfriend, while they were arguing about aliens, that she pulled from her vagina.
McCarthy went into her bedroom and later emerged “wearing lingerie and a silver handgun in her vagina.” She then proceeded to “have inner course with the gun,” according to the court fling.
While using the gat as a sex toy, McCarthy reportedly asked her boyfriend, “Who is crazy, you or me?” The probable cause statement, drafted by Deputy Chris Zook, does not indicate whether McCarthy’s boyfriend dared to answer that query.
We assume the … barrel? … was inserted into her puss while the handle thingy (grip?) rested on the outside, somehow, without slipping down. Maybe held up by her panties? Maybe just strapped right the fuck in, like with a strap? Maybe she has been Kegeling 1000 times a day for the past 40 years and can just cold hold a gun in her clam with her sugar walls of steel?
Unfortunately, the very terrible journalists at The Smoking Gun did not even bother to ask this most basic journalistic question, and so we will never, ever know.