Comedian-On-Journalist Violence Is Real And Spectacular

So apparently there is some Dante’s Inferno Ninth Circle hellscape called the “Funniest Celebrity” contest where “celebrities” (oh god is that term used loosely) make with the funny and give the money to charity. The most recent of these events happened last night in DC, and thank god we did not know about it in advance because if we had we would have moved heaven and earth to stop such a terrible thing from coming into being. What kind of celebrities would you have gotten to hear from? Glad you asked! How about Ralph Nader? Grover Norquist? Now those are two dudes whose very names are super synonymous with high-larious. Maybe they’re just outliers. Maybe past participants of this thing have been actually funny.

What’s that you say? Past winners of this thing include Mike Huckabee and that numbnuts from The Daily Caller, Jamie Weinstein? Is there some definition of “funny” that I was previously unaware of? Jesus. Be right back, killing self so as to not think about this any longer.

OK, wait. I’ve decided to cling to life for just a bit longer because this glorious thing happened at last night’s show and has effectively wiped out any discussion of Weinstein’s incisive wit or Nader’s dry humor:

Daily Beast senior correspondent Josh Rogin took to Twitter on Wednesday, and accused comedian [and headliner/host] Dan Nainan of assaulting him.[…]

Rogin told US News & World Report’s Washington Whispers column after the incident, “Dan Nainan comes over to me and says, ‘Are you Josh Rogin,’ and I said yes and then he punched me in the jaw, then he pushed me, then he walked away and about 10 seconds later he came over and punched me again.”

rogin

Best night out, or BESTEST night out? Do you think I could make some extra coin doing bumfights between crappy comedians and mid-level journalists??

Oh god wait. That link says that Candy Crowley was there as well. Plans to kill self are back on. Bye.

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  • Jason M

    Am I the only clueless one, or is everyone else Googling “Dan Nainan” right now, too?

    • axonneuron

      Not even sure who Josh Rogin is.

      • greensprout

        A spicy curry dish with tomatoes and onions

  • Estproph

    Grover Norquist would be considered a laugh riot in a town known for giving Monsanto food stamps.

  • FauxAntocles

    Go to your happy place! Go to your happy place!

  • x111e7thst

    Lisa: phenobarb makes it all much better for a little while.

  • Deleted

    This post was deleted.

  • Rotundo

    “Journalist” Bum fights new entertainment in metro D.C.? Soon to come; Congressional and Senate oil wrestlin’?