Oct 30, 2019
Come Watch The Overpaid Founder Of Rap Genius Website Have The Most Epic Delusions Of Grandeur Ever
We watched this entire interview with the founder of Rap Genius, and now you have to as well. Not familiar with Rap Genius? It’s a website for white kids who listen to rap and want to annotate the lyrics. Therefore it is of course the most important site on the web, according to Rap Genius.
You know how sometimes at the end of the night you’re stuck talking to the really high person who just won’t let you leave, and keeps saying things like “yeah, no, just LISTEN” before launching into an even more absurd slow-talking point? This is like that, except this high dude has like a billion dollars for his shitty site.
Rap Genius made waves a few months ago not for being awesome, but for engaging in a too-complicated-to-explain here way to exploit Google search results in a way that was so egregious that Google pulled them down from ANY search results for a while. Watching their traffic tank was an epic source of amusement for the internet for a solid week. But now the site has given us another endless source of amusement with this interview with founder Mahbod Moghadam.
Where do we even begin with this guy? Did we mention he is high? He is all the high. His eyes are half-closed and he bobs and weaves with that combo of sleepiness and faux-profundity endemic to the stoned. He’s also pretty much as grandiose as you can possibly imagine.
How great is Rap Genius, a site which, we will remind you, is nothing but a site for people to talk about what they think their favorite rap songs mean? According to Moghadam, it is the biggest website of all time. Except maybe it is not, because later he explains that it is as big as Twitter or sort of tied with Facebook, but it is bigger than Facebook, because it is bigger and better than Wikipedia, which is bigger than Facebook, but Rap Genius will be the best because it is representative of the greatest most bestest intellectual exchange on the Internet. Nope, he really does say that.
In case you were wondering, here is a sample of the really deep thinking on the Rap Genius site, as some random commenter waxes poetic about what he or she thinks Kendrick Lamar’s m.A.A.d. City is about.
More self-awareness and realization of the corrupt city that Kendrick lives in.
Kendrick’s recent beat-down brings back early memories of similar situations, witnessing someone with their brains blown out at a burger stand back when he was 9 (Probably talking about his Uncle Tony, or someone in a similar situation), he thinks he knows the person who did it but he censors his name. He also talks about how his cousin was killed back in 94.
Dude, we are fucking overwhelmed with the intellectual rigor of that rap talking.
Rap Genius is also a new way of thinking about human culture AND it is also the Stalinist Russia of the internet, but in a good way. We have no idea what that means at all.
We also learn that Rap Genius has made the best app ever. Why is it the best app ever? Because it is an app that gets you directly to Rap Genius. No other apps have done that in the history of time! Oh wait, that is exactly what apps tend to do. But Rap Genius’s app will be the app that, when aliens come down in 1000 years, they will see what a dope app it is. NO WE DID NOT MAKE THIS PART UP EITHER WATCH THE DAMN VIDEO.
Let’s do a lightning round of other Rap Genius feels from this high dude who has more money than you will make in ten lifetimes.
- Rap Genius will be the fabric of the internet, and you will use it to comment on things like the New York Times.
- The only thing that will matter for job interviews moving forward is your “Genius IQ,” which basically sounds like Klout. Remember when we cared about Klout?
- Annotations on other websites will replace email as a way for groups to get things done, because that sounds convenient as all get out.
OK, we really can’t take anymore. If you are of a stronger constitution, there is an even longer version of this interview you could go read and watch. We really wouldn’t advise it though. Proceed at your own risk.