Feb 20, 2020
Colorado Releases First ‘Don’t Smoke And Drive’ Ads, Shames Bearded Stoner Dudes While Doing So
Colorado has rolled out the first ad to warn you that being high is cool, but driving while high isn’t, because this is sadly a thing people need education about. And man, white stoner dudes who don’t shave so often should be PISSED, y’all, about the stereotyping happening here. Like they should start a twitter war or get an awareness ribbon and rage rage rage against the cheap exploitation of their bearded selves. They should have a Dove soap campaign showing that there are many types of dudes who smoke pot, and all of them are beautiful and not numbskull levels of dumb just because they toked up.
First up, we have bearded stoner guy hangs flat-screen TV on wall, does Karate Kid moves at said TV to indicate stoned domination over TV, shovels chips in his mouth, and then inevitably the TV crashes to the ground. The ad then reminds you that it is cool to hang your TV while high, not cool to drive to get a new one after you fuck it up. WHO KNEW?
After that, we have basketball playing dude who, although clean-shaven, is in dire need of a haircut, probably because he is too stoned to remember to go get one. He is playing basketball, but he is too stoned to do anything but dribble. Takeaway: play basketball while high, do not drive to see other people play basketball while high. Also, remember to shoot the ball when playing basketball, dummy.
Finally, we are back to another bearded dude, but he has sort of an uncut white boy fro thing going on, so diversity. He is too high to realize that he did not attach a propane canister to his grill before trying to light it. His friends look on in bemusement and irritation. Wouldn’t they just notice there was no propane there and fix it, if they were not also too high? And if they were also high, wouldn’t they just not care, according to Colorado?
Colorado is really going to need some ladies and people of color and, most importantly, un-stupid people for its next don’t toke and drive campaign. Diversity is important, people.