CNN’s Don Lemon Has To Wonder If Something Ghosty Happened To Malaysian Jet

CNN's Don Lemon Has To Wonder If Something Ghosty Happened To Malaysian Jet Coverage of the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines flight MH 370 is now getting into the “alternative theory” phase: as anyone knows, planes don’t just vanish into thin air. So CNN’s Don Lemon and guest Brad Meltzer, bored with actual reporting, gave serious consideration Sunday to the possibility that the plane actually vanished into thin air.

Or as Lemon put it, since it was Sunday, “a day when we deal with the supernatural,” it makes perfect sense to fill airtime by putting aside the stuff we know, which is very little so far, and start talking about whatever comes to mind, no matter how silly it sounds:

“We go to church, the supernatural power of God…people are saying to me, why aren’t you talking about the possibility — and I’m just putting it out there — that something odd happened to this plane, something beyond our understanding?”

And Meltzer readily agreed. Oh, sure, “People roll their eyes at conspiracy theories, but what conspiracy theories do is they ask the hardest, most outrageous questions sometimes, but every once in a while they’re right,” he said. And so apparently, we really do have to consider the possibility that something freaky-weird happened, because somehow it’s supposedly unlikely that a 200-foot airplane might be hard to find in a search area comprising thousands of square miles.

“You can say, ‘Oh, it crashed into the ocean,’” Meltzer continued. “But where are the parts? Where are the pieces? Why did it keep going for seven hours? Why do you have a guy on board who gives his watch and his ring to his wife and says ‘Keep these for my boys in case something happens to me’? And that’s not some stranger, he was a mechanical engineer. Something smells wrong.”

“I’m not one of those believers that aliens came down or anything like that,” Meltzer added. “But you do have to stop and wonder: how does a jet-liner with 200 people on it just disappear?”

Again, it just crashes into the ocean — there’s no guarantee that anything is going to float to the surface, or float for ten days. Still, as the good investigators of Reddit know, there’s a lot of possible explanations:

click to embiggen

For that matter, is it too soon to rule out the possibility that Flight MH 370 is not a Boeing 777 at all, but a Decepticon?


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  • msanthropesmr

    I think the commenter on Reddit was so fucking high to come up with that idea.

    • SnarkOff

      Well, as he put it, Reddit always comes “trough.”

      • Deleted

        This post was deleted.

    • elvigy

      Was going to note that myself. What an indictment of the American educational system. The escape velocity for Earth is 25,000 mph. So maybe the pilot just really stepped on the gas on that plane and off it went!

      • $160578

        Escape velocity is irrelevant if an object maintains upward thrust, so long as it’s greater than 9.8 m/sec. The need to reach escape velocity only applies to objects being thrust upward by a force that stops before escape is achieved.

        • elvigy

          Yeah, it was, uh, kind of a joke. :) There are a lot more problems with that scenario than just escape velocity.

          • $160578

            Don’t mind me. I’m one of those odd types who make lots of jokes, but usually don’t recognize when others do.

          • elvigy

            Haha, it’s fine. I do the same. I actually wrote that post with all kinds of stuff about the plane’s wings not working once the atmosphere thinned out, the fuel it was using needing air for combustion, blah blah blah. Then I backspaced it all out and went with the cheap shot for the larfs. Not so successful, I imagine. :)

        • bobbert

          Okay, I’ll be the pedant. In this case, escape velocity DOES matter, because this is a jet plane, which requires air to provide oxygen for the jet combustion. Which means thrust is going to zero around 200 km altitude. The plane would need to be going damn fast before then.

          • $160578

            Exactly so.

  • WA Bishop

    If this whole thing turns out to be an elaborate promo for some new TV series I will have to hurt someone.

  • Jan Ness

    It flew into the twilight zone

  • Lee Gibson

    Maybe it went back in time like that plane on the old Twilight Zone episode.

  • $73376667

    Reddit always comes through, just like with the Boston Marathon bombing!

  • x111e7thst

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate

  • $160578

    Sigh. Somebody please tell Scott that airplane engines are just like people – they need air to work.

    • glasspusher

      Where’s goonemeritus when we need him?

  • BigBoppa

    I think the people on the plane were Raptured(tm). Which means that the rest of us are pretty much fucked.

  • Based on Brad Meltzer’s writing, he apparently believes a person can scream in a C-Minor chord, so I’m loathe to accept him as an authority on anything, including conspiracy theories.

  • Joseph

    Air Malaysia never was an airline. They wanted to start one but none of the pilots would fly out of sight of land – some religious prohibition. So they created schedules and hired actors to aboard and they took off and flew around to the other side of the island and landed fed the folks lunch and bussed them back. Boeing wanted some lease payments so it’s an old story: the airplane is stolen and they collect the insurance. The plane was sold to the Pakistan government for cash. It was a awin-win except for the last load of actors who had no way to get home from Pakistan. In an operation this size you have to expect some losses.

  • unhipcat

    we should make a list of everywhere we’ve looked, eliminate those places, and just look elsewhere.

  • Lazy Media

    Name one, ONE motherfucking conspiracy theory that ever turned out to be true. That is, the kind that fit the classic model listed in wiki.In his essay “Dealing with Middle Eastern Conspiracy Theories”, Daniel Pipes notes that conspiracy theories are outstandingly common in the Middle East and writes that five assumptions “distinguish the conspiracy theorist from more conventional patterns of thought: appearances deceive; conspiracies drive history; nothing is haphazard; the enemy always gains; power, fame, money, and sex account for all”.