This Christmas, Give Us The Gift Of A Constant Supply Of Rich Liquid Butter With This Paula Deen Butter Warmer

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Nothing says Christmas to us here at Happy more than butter. Tons of butter. Pounds of butter stacked so tall we have to climb them. Rivers of butter like the chocolate thing in Willy Wonka. All butter, all the time. But in order to achieve full-on warmed melty golden pool of liquid goodness butter, we need a butter warmer. A really BIG butter warmer. That is, of course, where both you and Paula Deen come in.

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Yes, the Queen of All Butter has her own special saucepan thingyfor melting butter. It holds one quart of butter. ONE QUART. OF BUTTER.

Don’t be buying us a regular old saucepan, you hear? This one has a special non-stick interior AND handy spouts to easily pour out butter. ONE QUART OF BUTTER. It also has Paula Deen’s initials on the bottom, so you KNOW it is quality.

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If you don’t get this for us, we’ll be forced to melt butter in smaller doses in the microwave, and that simply will not do, as we’re planning on making Paula Deen’s fried butter balls which are actually a thing that exists in the world and oh god humanity had a good run but we’re pretty much done now, right? Fried butter balls are some end time shit, but we’re still gonna make them right after you buy this for us.

You probably want to order us something from our Christmas list soon so that it will arrive in time.]

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  • Obot 50549535

    Only holds two pounds of butter. Not like it’s a lot or anything.