Celebrity Apprentice recaps the top feuds, firings, and fails of this season, as well as seasons past. Relive the 5 second rule and phonegate.

Episode 7 is all-recap. From Kevin Jonas’ “5 second rule” to Vivica Fox’s “Who stole my phone?” incident, get ready to relive the greatest moments of this season, as well as seasons past.

First up is top feuds. A feud from the current season comes in at number 5. It’s Kevin Jonas vs. Geraldo Rivera. You’ve probably forgotten by now, what with buttgate and phonegate, but early this season a talk show host interrupting a pop star used to pass for drama. Here’s Kevin explaining his version of the “five second rule” to Geraldo:

This means I can eat cookies off the floor, right?

Apparently, it has something to do with listening before you speak.

The top, top feud was from Season 1 of The Celebrity Apprentice, a.k.a. Season 7 of The Apprentice (it’s kind of like dog years). Journalist and eventual winner Piers Morgan went at it with Omarosa, who was only a “celebrity” for being The Apprentice (it just makes your mind ache, doesn’t it?). Anyway, I don’t know what started that feud, but it has a lot of Omarosa calling Piers a bad father and Piers calling Omarosa a tramp.

Next up is the worst fails. Our own Kenya Moore’s “Baby Got Buns” ad for King’s Hawaiian comes in at number 4. Here’s Vivica trying to explain it.

“I just… can’t sell this”

The number 1 fail was from the All-Star season, when actor and all around maniac Gary Busey was tasked with making a commercial for a new computer for LG. He kept insisting on using the line “What’s next? An electronic dog?” and on imitating said dog.

That’s what I call barking mad!

Of course, the main point of this show is raising money for charity, so we a countdown of biggest fundraisers. We all remember that Geraldo and Ian Ziering brought in big money this season, raising a combined total of nearly $600,000 selling wedding dresses.

“Thanks! This is more than I ever made on 90210”

Their success was the 4^th highest total, but it hardly compares to number 1, which was when country star John Rich and actress Marlee Matlin raised over one and a half million dollars selling art.

Now back to what we really care about: boardroom backstabs and betrayals. Kenya stealing Vivica’s phone, outing her as menopausal via Twitter, and then calling her emotionally unstable ranks high, at number 2 overall.

I never say this, but I feel sorry for Geraldo

But apparently the Piers Morgan/Omarosa fight was really something to behold because it came into the boardroom and won this category as well.

The current season boasts two “wins” in the Most Memorable Firings category. Number 5 is when Kevin Jonas was fired for trying to get Geraldo fired. He was accused of “trying to outthink Donald Trump.” (I still don’t understand that one.) Number 2 was when Ian Ziering was fired for putting new words to the tune of “La Cucharacha.”

Those were surely memorable, especially since they occurred recently, but top honors go to when Melissa Rivers was fired in Season 2/9. What made it memorable was not why she was fired, but how she acted afterward. She threw a fit and so did her mother Joan. They cursed up a storm and called their competitors every name in the book. Seriously, it’s not every day that a person gets called both a Nazi and a whore.

Finally, we review the past winners of The Celebrity Apprentice. They were: Piers Morgan, Joan Rivers, rocker Brett Michaels, John Rich, late night talk show host Arsenio Hall, and country musician Trace Adkins. Who will be next?

The remaining candidates are fundraising powerhouse Geraldo, solid across the board Leeza Gibbons, and longshot contestant Vivica Fox. Stay tuned.