Category: Text

The Americans: Dissatisfaction

In What’s the Matter with Kansas, episode four of season five, nobody is happy with the status quo, but only one man decides to shake things up. Elizabeth and Philip are visiting their collective parent handler Gabriel. Is he…

Riverdale: Baby on Board

Hello, everyone! Welcome back to Riverdale, where there’s only one high school and one restaurant but there’s an Uber service that will take you to teen nightclubs. As much as I like ragging on Riverdale and its strange economy, I…

Homeland: Black Ops Jesus

Saul prepares to go on the lam. Carrie gets some unexpected news about Franny. Quinn runs into an old friend from a different life. The stingray leads Quinn to a diner. While the sign  says (or has been digitally enhanced…

The Americans: Fake it till you make it

This week on The Americans, Elizabeth proves once again how much self-awareness she lacks (all of it). Stan and Aderholt might want to rethink their recruiting techniques. The noose tightens around Oleg, and we get a surprise blast from the…

Homeland: The wrong horse

We’re a fly on the wall listening to Carrie explain herself to the shrink she must appeal to in order to see her daughter. This might be more fun if she spoke English instead of Stock Phraseeze. She talks about…

Once Upon a Time: Boys behaving badly

This week on Once, the writers bastardize Beowulf (which, in their defense, couldn’t be made much worse than it already was). Also this week, Rumple tries twice to prevent his kids from becoming assholes like him, and is sort…

The Americans: Paigeland

After mercy-executing Elizabeth’s  fav asset, she and Philip meet Gabriel to hand over the virus sample. Gabriel must be thrilled to have yet another deadly pathogen on his hands. What could possibly go wrong this time? Philip can’t quite get…