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Writer-director Duncan Jones sadly seems to be joining the ranks of one-hit wonders like Neill Blomkamp, Richard Kelly, and Josh Trank, all of whom burst onto the scene with strong debuts, were quickly declared the new saviors of blockbuster genre…
Last time on Demolition Man: After having dinner at Taco Bell and thwarting Edgar Friendly’s attempt to steal food for his people, Spartan botched a virtual sex encounter with Lenina. But after playing a hunch, Spartan discovered Cocteau might…
Previously: Simon Phoenix visited a museum (probably for the first time in his life) to get his hands on a gun, and he and John Spartan squared off there. Phoenix escaped and met Cocteau, who—surprise, surprise—is the true villain, having…
Previously in the Unbreakable Trilogy: In the wake of 2016’s Split—an effective horror-thriller in spite of its paltry $9 million budget and a depiction of multiple personality disorder straight out of 1970s TV movies—some feared writer-director M. Night Shyamalan…
Previously: Simon Phoenix was let loose on an unsuspecting 21st century, killing 11 people (I figured out later the 11th would have been the poor bastard he got his overalls from). The police, unequipped to deal with violence, have awakened…
Previously on Harley Quinn & Friends: All the movie’s colorful mismatched personalities with their own motivations have finally realized that they have to team up and kick ass for womankind against the marauding fuckboi army.
The girls engage in…
Previously: In 1996, renegade cop on the edge who plays by his own rules John Spartan finally brought down flashy psycho criminal Simon Phoenix, only to be framed for killing 30 bus passengers when Simon’s building went boom. Convicted and…
Last time on Curds of Whey: An insanely valuable diamond is currently traversing the colon of the school-aged thief Cassandra Cain, and a group of badass babes with improbable personal connections to her are all wanting to get it…
For the most part, the 1990s weren’t a good time for Sylvester Stallone. After a finishing out the previous decade strong with films like Tango & Cash and Rambo III (the less said about Lock Up, the better), he…
Previously on Birds of Prey, Yup, Just Birds of Prey, That’s The Whole Title: Harley Quinn broke up with Joker. That’s good! But without Joker’s protection, Harley’s in the crosshairs of Roman Sionis AKA Black Mask, who wants to…
Previously on BoPatFEoOHQ: Professional bad girl Harley Quinn read enough Tumblr posts to convince her that her relationship with the Joker was abusive and needed to end. She blew up a chemical plant to show how Not Mad she…
It was perhaps inevitable that the 2020 female-centric superhero movie Birds of Prey: Harley Quinn’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day would become the subject of several rich and pungent threads of Film Discourse. A lot of this discourse…
When we last left our band, they abducted the princess but Valeria paid with her life. And now with Thulsa Doom on his way to reclaim what is his, Conan and Subotai must prepare for the fight of their lives!…
Last time, Conan attempted to stealth his way through a level and got caught, tortured, and left for dead. His friends saved him, but at what cost?
Conan practices the katas his masters in the East had taught him, seemingly…
As I’m sure everyone knows by now, much of the world is currently on guard because of the coronavirus pandemic. Trump, thankfully, declared a state of emergency about the matter on (ironically) Friday the 13th of March. While some say…
When we last saw our hero, he had left his friends Subotai and Valeria behind to pursue his path of vengeance against Thulsa Doom. After a considerable ride, he came across pilgrims traveling to Doom’s “mountain of power”, as well…
When we last left our (ahem) heroes, Conan and Subotai had met a new friend, a woman (played by Sandahl Bergman). Whose name is never, ever stated in the movie. She’s Valeria, by the way, and yes, for convenience’s sake…
For quite a while now, many film fans (including myself) have noted the countless remakes/reboots that are coming out of the woodwork. One example of this which certainly gave remakes/reboots a bad name was Gus Van Sant’s follow-up to his…
We’re past the dump months of January and February, which means it’s time for studios to roll out their second-tier blockbusters to take advantage of spring break audiences. Here to predict whether some of the biggest March releases will be…
When we last left our favorite (and apparently last) Cimmerian, he had gone from boy to man, and from pushing a wheel to dealing death to the roar of the crowd. We open now with him being “taken to the…
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