Why the audience didn’t need Superman Returns (2006)
“All of these plot points could be used to write three good Superman films. It is a waste that we didn’t even get one.”
Category: Movies
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6 things to love about From Russia with Love (1964)
“If you held a gun to my head and forced me to pick the Bond movie that rises to the top, I would have to say it’s From Russia with Love.”
Jupiter Ascending (2015): a recap (part 4 of 12)
“Are there people who were convinced up until this moment that bees are questioning, doubtful liars?”
Wrath of the Titans (2012)
“Will make anyone who loves to watch demi-gods jumping onto the backs of large computer-generated beasts giddy.”
Why James Bond will never fight Blofeld again
“So many villains since Blofeld have copied his iconography that he’s somehow become overshadowed by his own legacy.”
Dressed to Kill (1980), and separating the art from transphobia
“It’s an enrapturing, pulse-pounding film that elevates trashy, sensationalistic material to an artistic expression of primal sensuality. It’s also one of the most nakedly transphobic films ever made.”
The internet is ruining movies
“The internet has made watching movies easier, and made distribution easier, but the internet has also played a large role in the decline in quality of mainstream American movies, especially among blockbusters.”
Ishtar (1987): a recap (part 7 of 9)
“And this is what this movie has finally degenerated to: jokes on the level of someone yelling ‘ching chong, ching chong’ to imitate Chinese people.”
Skidoo (1968): the lost recap (part 5 of 14)
“Thanks a lot, Skidoo. One day, I’m going to flash back to this scene, something in my brain will snap, and I’ll kill a busload of kids.”
Jupiter Ascending (2015): a recap (part 3 of 12)
“Caine’s just surfing the deferential equation slopes, broham!”
Ishtar (1987): a recap (part 6 of 9)
“Remember when they performed their show at the Chez Casablanca and all the tourists loved it? We were all so much younger then.”
Skidoo (1968): the lost recap (part 4 of 14)
“I know so much about this movie, it’s painful.”
Jupiter Ascending (2015): a recap (part 2 of 12)
“Was this dialogue written by humans?”
Justice League: Gods and Monsters (2015)
“Gods and Monsters is explicitly a ‘what if?’ story, made by someone who loves these characters and wants to play around with them a little.”
Skidoo (1968): the lost recap (part 3 of 14)
“It’s amazing how the hippies in this movie make being a ‘square’ seem like a hell of a lot more fun.”
Jupiter Ascending (2015): a recap (part 1 of 12)
“While it may not be based on an existing property, there’s nothing the slightest bit ‘original’ about this movie’s plot.”
Ishtar (1987), a recap (part 5 of 9): A nod is as good as a wink... to a blind camel
“I got a feeling something went really wrong, and Ishtar got made.”
Skidoo (1968): the lost recap (part 2 of 14)
“I bet Jackie Gleason wished the real God had summoned him before he could make this movie.”
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)
“It feels like there’s no reason for this movie to have even been made, apart from the first film becoming a cult hit, and comic book adaptations now being even bigger business than they were in 2005.”
Ishtar (1987): a recap (part 4 of 9)
“Holy crap, $50 million and Coke couldn’t even get their own product plugged in this movie? No wonder they sold off the studio.”
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