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Sofia Vergara’s Frozen Embryos to Wacky Egg-Tivist Nutbars, “LET IT GOOOO! Let it Go!”
“Was this another scene specifically written so as to avoid a potential lawsuit? Does Eon hold the copyright on interesting gadgets?”
“The second act is a prolonged science lesson with some first-year philosophy thrown in for good measure, albeit a visually stunning lesson with some good action pieces and special effects.”
Universal is developing a new TV series based on the (semi) beloved, (not particularly) timeless movie about Ahnald, precocious tots, brutal drug dealers, tumors, and tragically underfunded public school systems.
“As always: James Bond, the world’s most famous secret agent.”
“Despite the epic length, most of the cast will turn out to have existed to explore ideas or play second fiddle to the father/daughter relationship.”
“It’s a bit like if Christopher Nolan made Batman Begins and decided to cast Adam West.”
“CGI allows you to do anything you can imagine in your wildest fever dream, which begins to stretch the limits of believability to the breaking point.”
“At one point during the riffing, one of the guys remarks that the movie looks like it was edited in a Vitamix, and that’s pretty accurate.”
“I wish they’d spent as much time working on the storyline as the visuals, but it is what it is.”
“A post-apocalyptic version of (let’s face it) the Wacky Racers doesn’t feel like something that people have any kind of racial hang-ups about, so why would people mind if a woman took over?”
“It’s like someone saw Ted and decided what it was really missing was a ton of fart and shit jokes.”
“Bay simply ramps up the pace and explosion count from prior entries and layers on the Dinobots like so much icing on a shit cake.”
“Even people who otherwise have issues with the feminist movement pretty much universally agree that this is a freakin’ brilliant action movie and you should see it and see it again.”
“The movie gives us answers to exactly none of these questions. And here I thought the ending of Lost was a gyp.”
“The four TNG movies had some good ideas, but those were sadly overshadowed by the studio’s desire to turn TNG into something it wasn’t.”
“The moral of the story appears to be clear: God may not be dead, but if you’re not a Christian, you soon will be, and He’ll make sure you have the most horrible, painful death possible.”
“Both Maggie and Schwarzenegger’s performance show potential, even as their novice missteps prevent them from fulfilling it.”
“Unlike A Beautiful Mind, at least The Theory of Everything can admit that the husband and wife at the center of its story eventually got a divorce.”
“The movie also made me think about how much I would sacrifice for my own child, and the feelings of hopelessness that would arise from not being able to do everything I want for my family.”