Patrons get an ad-free experience and full access to our archives. Support the Agony Booth for as little as $1/month!

Category: Movies

Note: You are viewing text posts only. Looking for videos? Click here!

· by Michael A. Novelli · Apr 11, 2016

Hardcore Henry (2016): You’ll love it, and never want to watch it again

“While I sincerely doubt that the film will spawn many imitators, I’m glad it exists, because it does what great transgressive art should do: shock the audience out of complacency.”

Movie Review / Movies / Text

· by Thomas Ricard · Apr 5, 2016

High-Rise (2015)

Tom Hiddleston stars in the long-delayed adaptation of J.G. Ballard’s darkly comical class warfare allegory in which a tower block’s problems with power failures, nocturnal disturbances, and petty neighbor disputes escalate into all-out tribal warfare.

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Thomas Stockel · Mar 31, 2016

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 3 of 10)

“I’d say the powers that be are trying to collectively piss off an entire region of planet Earth, but I get the feeling everybody gets offended equally here, and it’s just Latin America’s turn.”

Movie Review / Movies / Text

· by Jonathan Campbell · Mar 29, 2016

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) is a long, dull trainwreck

“It’s amazing that a 150-minute film has such a flat and underdeveloped story. It really feels like a rush job, or that it’s a film based on cheap fan-service, or made by a committee.”

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Mar 28, 2016

Jupiter Ascending (2015), a recap (part 12 of 12): Jupiter and Caine earn their wings

The film (and perhaps the Wachowskis’ directing career) comes to a perfunctory end as we learn that while being ruler of a galactic empire might be nice, it can never compare to cleaning toilets for a living.

Movie Review / Movies / Text

· by Chelsey McQuitty · Mar 23, 2016

Pan (2015)

Peter Pan begins, but with a friendly Captain Hook, Rooney Mara as an Indian, and songs by Nirvana and the Ramones, you’ll understand the original story even less once you watch the prequel.

Movie Review / Movies / Text

· by Rob Kirchgassner · Mar 21, 2016

The Fly (1986)

“The Fly actually managed to be superior to its ‘50s predecessor. This is because it drastically toned down the tongue-in-cheek elements seen in the earlier version.”

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Thomas Stockel · Mar 14, 2016

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 2 of 10)

“Men’s-only locker room, casual misogyny when it comes to humor, assumptions that women are only interested in material goods. Glad to see the future hasn’t changed, 1969.”

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Mar 9, 2016

Skidoo (1968), the lost recap (part 14 of 14): Adieu, Skidoo

This non-comedy gets a suitable non-ending as all the plot threads we’ve been following for six months devolve into a terrible musical number and the strangest closing credits in history.

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Mar 2, 2016

Jupiter Ascending (2015), a recap (part 11 of 12): Eddie Redmayne’s Razzie clip

Jupiter finally meets the main villain of the film, and it feels like a complete afterthought. But on the plus side, somebody in this movie will win an “award” for his acting.

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Feb 29, 2016

Skidoo (1968), the lost recap (part 13 of 14): A big beautiful blob of nothing

“Roger Ebert would often espouse the notion that there are no good movies featuring hot air balloons. I’d like to think he was watching Skidoo at the time he formulated this theory.”

Movie Review / Movies / Text

· by Chelsey McQuitty · Feb 25, 2016

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (2015)

“With the abrupt ending of the first film, most had hoped the second entry would provide all the answers we never got. Instead, the previous film now makes even less sense.”

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Thomas Stockel · Feb 23, 2016

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 1 of 10)

“Honestly, after the opening credits, I was expecting a lot less subtlety both in plot and visuals, like everyone would be walking around wearing aluminum cowboy hats or something.”

Movie Review / Movies / Text

· by Chelsey McQuitty · Feb 18, 2016

Tomorrowland (2015)

“So destroying a machine that’s beaming negative thoughts into our heads will somehow cause global warming to stop?”

Movie Review / Movies / Text

· by Jonathan Campbell · Feb 16, 2016

Deadpool (2016): A love story

“Wade Wilson might be a rude, violent borderline sociopath with a potty-mouth who drops more F-bombs in the first 20 minutes of this movie than all of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Fox-Marvel movies combined, but he isn’t (completely) lying when he calls this film ‘a love story’”

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Feb 15, 2016

Jupiter Ascending (2015), a recap (part 10 of 12): Jupiter says yes to the dress

Jupiter and Titus are about to get married, but to the shock of no one, Titus has sinister motives. Cue “Mrs. Robinson” on the soundtrack as Caine rushes to stop the wedding.

Movies / Text

· by Steven Birkner · Feb 11, 2016

Lightsabers make movie posters better

“Take that satisfaction and multiply it by a coolness factor of ten if we’d heard the snap-hiss of a lightsaber activated in George McFly’s hand as he prepared to confront Biff.”

Movies / Text

· by Rick Lewis · Feb 11, 2016

Johnny Depp is Donald Trump!

We all know Johnny Depp insists on preposterous hair and makeup for every role, so how could he possibly resist the chance to play Donald Trump? In a spoof of a 1980s TV movie, no less!

Movie Review / Movies / Text

· by Rob Kirchgassner · Feb 8, 2016

Wolf (1994)

“Wolf accomplishes what I previously thought was impossible: it actually features Jack Nicholson being restrained.”

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Feb 5, 2016

Skidoo (1968), the lost recap (part 12 of 14): A garbage musical number

“This is the first time I can say that a writer probably got his lyrics out of a trash can, and be completely accurate.”

Category: Movies

Hardcore Henry (2016): You’ll love it, and never want to watch it again

High-Rise (2015)

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 3 of 10)

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) is a long, dull trainwreck

Jupiter Ascending (2015), a recap (part 12 of 12): Jupiter and Caine earn their wings

Pan (2015)

The Fly (1986)

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 2 of 10)

Skidoo (1968), the lost recap (part 14 of 14): Adieu, Skidoo

Jupiter Ascending (2015), a recap (part 11 of 12): Eddie Redmayne’s Razzie clip

Skidoo (1968), the lost recap (part 13 of 14): A big beautiful blob of nothing

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (2015)

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 1 of 10)

Tomorrowland (2015)

Deadpool (2016): A love story

Jupiter Ascending (2015), a recap (part 10 of 12): Jupiter says yes to the dress

Lightsabers make movie posters better

Johnny Depp is Donald Trump!

Wolf (1994)

Skidoo (1968), the lost recap (part 12 of 14): A garbage musical number

Search

Advertisements

Meta

Sitemap

About the Site:

Text Archives:

Other Content:

Latest Updated TV Shows:

Feeds (RSS):

Support the Site:

On Other Sites:

Top #tags:

Latest Comments

Popular Posts This Week