Lightsabers make movie posters better
“Take that satisfaction and multiply it by a coolness factor of ten if we’d heard the snap-hiss of a lightsaber activated in George McFly’s hand as he prepared to confront Biff.”
Category: Movies
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Johnny Depp is Donald Trump!
We all know Johnny Depp insists on preposterous hair and makeup for every role, so how could he possibly resist the chance to play Donald Trump? In a spoof of a 1980s TV movie, no less!
Wolf (1994)
“Wolf accomplishes what I previously thought was impossible: it actually features Jack Nicholson being restrained.”
Skidoo (1968), the lost recap (part 12 of 14): A garbage musical number
“This is the first time I can say that a writer probably got his lyrics out of a trash can, and be completely accurate.”
The Left Behind remake is as God-awful as the original
“This film really did nothing but confirm the fact that Nicolas Cage doesn’t really care anymore. He’ll take just about any part to pay off his huge debts, and do absolutely nothing with the role.”
Watchmen (2009) is Zack Snyder’s only good film
“It never really amounts to a great cinematic experience, which it easily could have been, and it never replicates the spirit of the comic book because, well, it’s not a comic book.”
The One Jump Them Duke Boys Couldn’t Survive…
There's a good chance you never bothered to see The Dukes of Hazzard's disastrous leap to the big screen. Fortunately, our good friends at The-Editing-Room.com re-wrote the entire script in 1,000 words or less... then slathered it all in sarcasm sauce.
The Age of Adaline (2015)
“It’s all very bland, especially when so much more could have been done with her agelessness.”
The Divergent Series: Insurgent (2015)
“It’s only two hours long, which is about standard for today, but it’s two hours that drag on longer than the last 15 minutes of class before summer vacation.”
Jupiter Ascending (2015), a recap (part 9 of 12): My dinner with Titus
The truth about Premium Abrasax is revealed and it’s exactly what we figured out 30 minutes ago. Also, Titus Abrasax shows his romantic side by trying to get with his mom’s identical twin.
Skidoo (1968), the lost recap (part 11 of 14): And prison gets a little bit gayer
Tony and the gang give LSD to the entire prison with hopelessly unfunny results, and we learn there’s nothing like the love between Frank Gorshin and his seven foot tall giant.
The Force Awakens is a surprisingly dark new vision of Star Wars
“For all of the criticisms of what the prequel trilogy did to the backstory of the original trilogy, it didn’t wipe away the accomplishments of the original trilogy in the way that The Force Awakens does.”
Jupiter Ascending (2015), a recap (part 8 of 12): Aquarela do Bureaucracy
Two writer-directors entrusted with a $175 million budget decide to bring their sci-fi/action film to a dead stop for no good reason. But hey, they got Terry Gilliam to do a cameo!
Skidoo (1968), the lost recap (part 10 of 14): A good reason to drink aftershave lotion
Jackie and the gang hatch a plan to dose the entire prison with LSD, while Otto Preminger hatches a plan to torture the audience and calls it the third act of Skidoo.
RiffTrax Live! Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (2015)
“Needless to say, it fails to match the grandeur of that time Elmer Fudd played the giant in a vain, desperate attempt to avoid typecasting.”
Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero (1998)
“This movie got a pretty good reception, but I think that’s just the result of looking good in comparison to Batman & Robin, in the same way that a mediocre baseball team looks good compared to the 1899 Cleveland Spiders.”
Bubble Boy (2001)
“Bubble Boy is such a misfire all around that it should be considered a medical nightmare.”
Jupiter Ascending (2015), a recap (part 7 of 12): Must love dogs
In which we meet a half-man/half-elephant, and Jupiter confesses her feelings for Caine in the most embarrassingly stupid way possible.
Skidoo (1968), the lost recap (part 9 of 14): My father the torpedo
Tripping on LSD causes Jackie Gleason to turn over a new leaf, while back on Groucho's boat, we find out God's fatal weakness: cooties.
Skidoo (1968), the lost recap (part 8 of 14): A literal mind-screw
Jackie Gleason continues to trip on LSD and hallucinates a dancing Mickey Rooney and Zombie Arnold Stang, resulting in one of the most horrible GIFs ever perpetrated on humanity.
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