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“While I sincerely doubt that the film will spawn many imitators, I’m glad it exists, because it does what great transgressive art should do: shock the audience out of complacency.”
Tom Hiddleston stars in the long-delayed adaptation of J.G. Ballard’s darkly comical class warfare allegory in which a tower block’s problems with power failures, nocturnal disturbances, and petty neighbor disputes escalate into all-out tribal warfare.
“I’d say the powers that be are trying to collectively piss off an entire region of planet Earth, but I get the feeling everybody gets offended equally here, and it’s just Latin America’s turn.”
“It’s amazing that a 150-minute film has such a flat and underdeveloped story. It really feels like a rush job, or that it’s a film based on cheap fan-service, or made by a committee.”
The film (and perhaps the Wachowskis’ directing career) comes to a perfunctory end as we learn that while being ruler of a galactic empire might be nice, it can never compare to cleaning toilets for a living.
Peter Pan begins, but with a friendly Captain Hook, Rooney Mara as an Indian, and songs by Nirvana and the Ramones, you’ll understand the original story even less once you watch the prequel.
“The Fly actually managed to be superior to its ‘50s predecessor. This is because it drastically toned down the tongue-in-cheek elements seen in the earlier version.”
“Men’s-only locker room, casual misogyny when it comes to humor, assumptions that women are only interested in material goods. Glad to see the future hasn’t changed, 1969.”
This non-comedy gets a suitable non-ending as all the plot threads we’ve been following for six months devolve into a terrible musical number and the strangest closing credits in history.
Jupiter finally meets the main villain of the film, and it feels like a complete afterthought. But on the plus side, somebody in this movie will win an “award” for his acting.
“Roger Ebert would often espouse the notion that there are no good movies featuring hot air balloons. I’d like to think he was watching Skidoo at the time he formulated this theory.”
“With the abrupt ending of the first film, most had hoped the second entry would provide all the answers we never got. Instead, the previous film now makes even less sense.”
“Honestly, after the opening credits, I was expecting a lot less subtlety both in plot and visuals, like everyone would be walking around wearing aluminum cowboy hats or something.”
“So destroying a machine that’s beaming negative thoughts into our heads will somehow cause global warming to stop?”
“Wade Wilson might be a rude, violent borderline sociopath with a potty-mouth who drops more F-bombs in the first 20 minutes of this movie than all of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Fox-Marvel movies combined, but he isn’t (completely) lying when he calls this film ‘a love story’”
Jupiter and Titus are about to get married, but to the shock of no one, Titus has sinister motives. Cue “Mrs. Robinson” on the soundtrack as Caine rushes to stop the wedding.
“Take that satisfaction and multiply it by a coolness factor of ten if we’d heard the snap-hiss of a lightsaber activated in George McFly’s hand as he prepared to confront Biff.”
We all know Johnny Depp insists on preposterous hair and makeup for every role, so how could he possibly resist the chance to play Donald Trump? In a spoof of a 1980s TV movie, no less!
“Wolf accomplishes what I previously thought was impossible: it actually features Jack Nicholson being restrained.”
“This is the first time I can say that a writer probably got his lyrics out of a trash can, and be completely accurate.”