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“I’d say the powers that be are trying to collectively piss off an entire region of planet Earth, but I get the feeling everybody gets offended equally here, and it’s just Latin America’s turn.”
“It’s amazing that a 150-minute film has such a flat and underdeveloped story. It really feels like a rush job, or that it’s a film based on cheap fan-service, or made by a committee.”
The film (and perhaps the Wachowskis’ directing career) comes to a perfunctory end as we learn that while being ruler of a galactic empire might be nice, it can never compare to cleaning toilets for a living.
A slower zombie movie, with a hint of The Crazies.
Peter Pan begins, but with a friendly Captain Hook, Rooney Mara as an Indian, and songs by Nirvana and the Ramones, you’ll understand the original story even less once you watch the prequel.
“The Fly actually managed to be superior to its ‘50s predecessor. This is because it drastically toned down the tongue-in-cheek elements seen in the earlier version.”
Before we see Louis C.K. make an animated movie, let's watch another comedian's "stinger".
The action comedy that's even more relevant now than it was back then.
“Men’s-only locker room, casual misogyny when it comes to humor, assumptions that women are only interested in material goods. Glad to see the future hasn’t changed, 1969.”
Why Ursa loves these movies, the importance of a wide audience for family films, and why significant time gaps between movies are sometimes really brilliant. Plus: character arcs for you, and you, and you, everybody gets a character arc!
The roots of one of the most important and influential horror films of all time.
This non-comedy gets a suitable non-ending as all the plot threads we’ve been following for six months devolve into a terrible musical number and the strangest closing credits in history.
In his first episode uploaded to Vimeo, the Fear Fan tackles the sixth entry in the Friday the 13th series.
Independent production studio Blumhouse needs an intervention.
Jupiter finally meets the main villain of the film, and it feels like a complete afterthought. But on the plus side, somebody in this movie will win an “award” for his acting.
“Roger Ebert would often espouse the notion that there are no good movies featuring hot air balloons. I’d like to think he was watching Skidoo at the time he formulated this theory.”
Full Moon Productions ventures into vampire lore.
“With the abrupt ending of the first film, most had hoped the second entry would provide all the answers we never got. Instead, the previous film now makes even less sense.”
“Honestly, after the opening credits, I was expecting a lot less subtlety both in plot and visuals, like everyone would be walking around wearing aluminum cowboy hats or something.”
What were you expecting this Valentine's day? Roses?