Ishtar (1987), a recap (part 5 of 9): A nod is as good as a wink... to a blind camel
“I got a feeling something went really wrong, and Ishtar got made.”
Category: Movies
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Skidoo (1968): the lost recap (part 2 of 14)
“I bet Jackie Gleason wished the real God had summoned him before he could make this movie.”
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)
“It feels like there’s no reason for this movie to have even been made, apart from the first film becoming a cult hit, and comic book adaptations now being even bigger business than they were in 2005.”
Ishtar (1987): a recap (part 4 of 9)
“Holy crap, $50 million and Coke couldn’t even get their own product plugged in this movie? No wonder they sold off the studio.”
Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)
“This film has an even more misleading title than Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan.”
Is Inception a rip-off of Paprika?
“Cobbling together a new product from pieces of old ones is not ripping off per se, but it can be derivative.”
Skidoo (1968): the lost recap (part 1 of 14)
“At less than a minute in, this movie’s plot has ground to a halt, which is quite an accomplishment, considering it has no plot.”
Ishtar (1987): a recap (part 3 of 9)
“I can’t tell what’s funnier here, the random violence against women, or Lyle being a gay basher. Either way: comedy gold!”
The Delta Force (1986) and the 1980s Reaganian action film
“The Delta Force is so brazen in its jingoism, so earnest in its desire to entertain, and so unencumbered by aesthetic taste or good judgment that you can’t help but admire it.”
Ishtar (1987): a recap (part 2 of 9)
“Even putting aside the absurd notion of a presumably devout Muslim woman flashing her tits in public, I really can’t imagine who thought this was funny.”
7 suggestions for when Marvel gets the Fantastic Four back
“Based on the critical reception for this movie, and how utterly unoriginal and forgettable it is, I would be appalled, aghast, and amazed if Fox didn’t finally surrender the rights back to its rightful owners.”
Kill James Bond
“Daniel Craig’s Bond carries a considerably larger burden of expectations than his predecessors ever did. To that problem, I submit the following solution: Kill James Bond.”
BINGE OR NO? The Prequel to Wet Hot American Summer (Because 40-Somethings Playing Teenagers is Never Not Funny)
You try and tell a Hollywood actress she can't play a high schooler any more. Go ahead, we dare you. Yeah, we didn't think so. And thus we get Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp: The Series.
Never Say Never Again (1983): the lost recap (part 6 of 6)
“All that’s left now is to quickly get to the obligatory big battle sequence where the movie throws as many guys with guns into the frame as possible, and they all stand around shooting at each other long enough for us to finally end this damn thing.”
From bloodsucking cars to lava-spewing spiders – Syfy makes your TV dreams come true
Introducing a man-eating car and a lava-vomiting spider. What more do you need to know? You either want to see that or you desperately want to see that. Those are your only two options.
Hollywoodland (2006)
“Ultimately, Hollywoodland will probably only be remembered for the novelty of Ben Affleck playing Superman years before he played Batman.”
Ishtar (1987): a recap (part 1 of 9)
“Fans of the movie (and yes, this movie does have fans) will tell you it’s actually an underappreciated gem. I’m here to tell you those people might be clinically insane.”
Ant-Man (2015)
“If you imagine the Marvel franchise as the movie equivalent of a TV series, then this is sort of like ending the season on a standalone episode after a big climatic two-parter, starring a character you’ve never heard of, in a story that means almost nothing to the larger plot.”
Time to Miramax Out Your Credit Cards
Miramax is reportedly going up for sale for $1 billion, and since it’s got a TV division, we figure it’s ripe for the pickin’ for HNTP. All we need is for each of you, our loyal friends and supporters, to kick in a little something, Kickstarter-style.
Interstellar (2014): a recap (part 3 of 3)
“For a film that talks about the importance of humanity and human survival, it shows shockingly little faith in it.”
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