Introducing a man-eating car and a lava-vomiting spider. What more do you need to know? You either want to see that or you desperately want to see that. Those are your only two options.
“Ultimately, Hollywoodland will probably only be remembered for the novelty of Ben Affleck playing Superman years before he played Batman.”
“Fans of the movie (and yes, this movie does have fans) will tell you it’s actually an underappreciated gem. I’m here to tell you those people might be clinically insane.”
“If you imagine the Marvel franchise as the movie equivalent of a TV series, then this is sort of like ending the season on a standalone episode after a big climatic two-parter, starring a character you’ve never heard of, in a story that means almost nothing to the larger plot.”
Miramax is reportedly going up for sale for $1 billion, and since it’s got a TV division, we figure it’s ripe for the pickin’ for HNTP. All we need is for each of you, our loyal friends and supporters, to kick in a little something, Kickstarter-style.
“For a film that talks about the importance of humanity and human survival, it shows shockingly little faith in it.”
“Basically The Invisible Man redone as a slasher film, containing all the stupidity that this genre (unfairly or not) is associated with.”
Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be… and neither is The Last Starfighter if this TV reboot ever sees the light of day.
“My confidence in British intelligence is dropping by the minute.”
“It’s my personal view that Attack of the Clones gets a bad rap, so here are some reasons why I think it’s underrated and deserves some reconsideration.”
“So there you have it, folks. James Bond, secret agent: killed by a video game.”
Sofia Vergara’s Frozen Embryos to Wacky Egg-Tivist Nutbars, “LET IT GOOOO! Let it Go!”
“Was this another scene specifically written so as to avoid a potential lawsuit? Does Eon hold the copyright on interesting gadgets?”
“The second act is a prolonged science lesson with some first-year philosophy thrown in for good measure, albeit a visually stunning lesson with some good action pieces and special effects.”
Universal is developing a new TV series based on the (semi) beloved, (not particularly) timeless movie about Ahnald, precocious tots, brutal drug dealers, tumors, and tragically underfunded public school systems.
“As always: James Bond, the world’s most famous secret agent.”
“Despite the epic length, most of the cast will turn out to have existed to explore ideas or play second fiddle to the father/daughter relationship.”
“It’s a bit like if Christopher Nolan made Batman Begins and decided to cast Adam West.”
“CGI allows you to do anything you can imagine in your wildest fever dream, which begins to stretch the limits of believability to the breaking point.”
“At one point during the riffing, one of the guys remarks that the movie looks like it was edited in a Vitamix, and that’s pretty accurate.”