Patrons get an ad-free experience and full access to our archives. Support the Agony Booth for as little as $1/month!

Click here for more details.

Category: Movie Recap

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Jordon Davis · May 22, 2017

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002): a recap (part 2 of 6)

Previously on Ballistic: Ecks v. Sever: Lucy Liu destroyed some innocent cars and I destroyed a serious relationship. Since Lucy Liu just… saved? …re-kidnapped? …your-guess-here? …a six year-old boy, I would expect the movie to tell us more about…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Jordon Davis · May 16, 2017

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002): a recap (part 1 of 6)

It was recently argued that nobody would read a detailed recap of a movie when they could just as easily pull it up on streaming and watch it themselves. To that, I say, “Challenge accepted!” What if the movie were…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Rob Kirchgassner · Feb 28, 2017

Movies that Predicted Trump: My Fellow Americans (1996)

It’s now been one month since Donald Trump was inaugurated as the 45th President of the United States, and already his standing with the public is at an all-time low. In addition, people are withdrawing from his cabinet or from…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Thomas Stockel · Dec 14, 2016

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 10 of 10)

The movie does take place in 2021; it’s not too late to start making jump suits and boots a thing. And plastic plaid jackets. Can’t forget those.

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Thomas Stockel · Nov 20, 2016

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 9 of 10)

When we last left Bill and Clementine, Lithuania suffered a major setback in their plot to annex the Moon, but it left the Moon Bug shot to hell. Bill opted to use the “bugdozer” instead, but it only has enough charge for a 150-mile trip, and it’s 200 miles to Farside Five. Fortunately, the bugdozer is built to go over mountains, so it’s time to find a shortcut. The pair head out...

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Thomas Stockel · Oct 31, 2016

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 8 of 10)

So it turns out that modern firearms can fire in a vacuum; gunpowder contains its own oxidizer, so it doesn’t require an atmosphere. Special thanks to reader Greenhornet for the info, and for not making fun of my ignorance; class is always appreciated. Of course, that means ditching 500 words of guns-not-being-able-to-fire-in-a-vacuum jokes...

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Thomas Stockel · Oct 17, 2016

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 7 of 10)

Moon Zero Two comes in for a landing outside Farside Five. Oh man, I’m sooooo looking forward to this. I hope Farside Five has lots of strips with dogs, those are the funniest.

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Thomas Stockel · Sep 12, 2016

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 6 of 10)

When we last left our heroes (and at this point, I’m really stretching the definition of that word; seriously, Bill is a bit of a dick and Kaminski is little more than drunken comic relief, albeit his legal acumen and/or ability to baffle with bullshit has come in handy twice)...

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Thomas Stockel · Aug 19, 2016

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 5 of 10)

Hello, and welcome back to my Moon Zero Two extended recap. In case you’re new to the Booth, you can catch up by checking out the links to the first four parts here, here, here...

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Susan Velazquez · Jun 16, 2016

Top Gun (1986): a recap (part 3 of 3)

“Maverick then rejoins the battle and helps Iceman take out the remaining enemy planes, as totally happened all the time during the Cold War. AMERICA, YEAHHHHH!”

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Susan Velazquez · Jun 8, 2016

Top Gun (1986): a recap (part 2 of 3)

The 30th anniversary recap continues as we try to find out if Top Gun is still on top after all these years.

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Susan Velazquez · Jun 2, 2016

Top Gun (1986): a recap (part 1 of 3)

“I’m willing to risk it all to bring you this mini-recap, and find out if Top Gun is still on top after all these years.”

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Thomas Stockel · Apr 26, 2016

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 4 of 10)

“Should Bill be drinking before heading into space? I don’t think that suit has a catheter, and his ship didn’t look big enough to have a toilet. Guess it’d better be a short trip.”

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Thomas Stockel · Mar 31, 2016

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 3 of 10)

“I’d say the powers that be are trying to collectively piss off an entire region of planet Earth, but I get the feeling everybody gets offended equally here, and it’s just Latin America’s turn.”

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Mar 28, 2016

Jupiter Ascending (2015), a recap (part 12 of 12): Jupiter and Caine earn their wings

The film (and perhaps the Wachowskis’ directing career) comes to a perfunctory end as we learn that while being ruler of a galactic empire might be nice, it can never compare to cleaning toilets for a living.

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Thomas Stockel · Mar 14, 2016

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 2 of 10)

“Men’s-only locker room, casual misogyny when it comes to humor, assumptions that women are only interested in material goods. Glad to see the future hasn’t changed, 1969.”

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Mar 9, 2016

Skidoo (1968), the lost recap (part 14 of 14): Adieu, Skidoo

This non-comedy gets a suitable non-ending as all the plot threads we’ve been following for six months devolve into a terrible musical number and the strangest closing credits in history.

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Mar 2, 2016

Jupiter Ascending (2015), a recap (part 11 of 12): Eddie Redmayne’s Razzie clip

Jupiter finally meets the main villain of the film, and it feels like a complete afterthought. But on the plus side, somebody in this movie will win an “award” for his acting.

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Feb 29, 2016

Skidoo (1968), the lost recap (part 13 of 14): A big beautiful blob of nothing

“Roger Ebert would often espouse the notion that there are no good movies featuring hot air balloons. I’d like to think he was watching Skidoo at the time he formulated this theory.”

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Thomas Stockel · Feb 23, 2016

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 1 of 10)

“Honestly, after the opening credits, I was expecting a lot less subtlety both in plot and visuals, like everyone would be walking around wearing aluminum cowboy hats or something.”