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Category: Movie Recap

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Mar 27, 2019

Fantastic Four (2015), a recap (part 7 of 7)

Previously: Victor returned from Planet Zero, and three minutes later decided to have his revenge on the people who rescued him. He murdered scientists, soldiers, Harvey “Big League Chew” Allen, and Franklin Storm. Our team of heroes were powerless to prevent him from… killing everybody? Trying to rule the world? No, actually...

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Mar 18, 2019

Fantastic Four (2015), a recap (part 6 of 7)

Previously: After an apparent year of absolutely nothing happening in the lives of our heroes, they all got put to work by the military, much to the dismay of Sue and her dad. Meanwhile, Reed was on the run in Central America, where despite his crafty brownface disguise, the government was able to track him down and use Ben to apprehend him.

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Mar 13, 2019

Fantastic Four (2015), a recap (part 5 of 7)

Previously: Four morons went to an alternate dimension but only three came back. The survivors found themselves changed in various disturbing ways, and immediately got recruited by the government to become freakish...

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Mar 4, 2019

Fantastic Four (2015), a recap (part 4 of 7)

Previously: After a successful teleportation attempt involving a cartoon monkey, the best and brightest minds of the Baxter Institute (plus Ben Grimm) got drunk off a bottle of vanilla extract, and then decided on the spur of the moment to…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Feb 27, 2019

Fantastic Four (2015), a recap (part 3 of 7)

Previously: Reed Richards got to attend/work for the Baxter Institute, a internationally renowned think tank founded on the inventions of high school students. Reed was tasked with building a teleportation machine along with three other young antisocial malcontents...

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Feb 19, 2019

Fantastic Four (2015), a recap (part 2 of 7)

Previously: Reed Richards and Ben Grimm were young kids who, despite Reed’s best efforts, grew up to be teenagers. Reed finally got someone to take notice of his teleportation machine, which turned out to actually be a portal into another dimension, because this is the version of the Fantastic Four where nobody goes into space or gets bombarded by cosmic rays....

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Dr. Winston O'Boogie · Feb 13, 2019

Fantastic Four (2015), a recap (part 1 of 7)

In 2015, 20th Century Fox achieved a remarkable feat: At a time when comic book movies and Marvel superheroes in particular were seen as a license to print money, they still managed to make a massive bomb out of their reboot of Marvel’s Fantastic Four. Even more remarkably...

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Jan 8, 2019

Warcraft (2016): a recap (part 7 of 7)

Previously on Warcraft: The hell, guy? You just started reading here? What gives? The demon’s death causes an explosion of Fel magic that radiates from the top of Medivh’s penthouse and expands, denuding trees for miles around. Khadgar and…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Dec 17, 2018

Warcraft (2016), a recap (part 5 of 7)

Previously on Warcraft: The orcs were almost done with Gul’dan’s dimensional gate, which if successful, will doom Azeroth to a full-scale orc invasion. Token Good Orc Durotan met with the humans to hammer out a little somethin’-or-other to their…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Dec 10, 2018

Warcraft (2016), a recap (part 4 of 7)

Our story begins in the mid-1960s, when a musician from South London named David Jones decided to change his last name to avoid confusion with the then-famous Monkee Davy Jones. Taking the mispronounced surname of an American frontiersman as his…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Dec 4, 2018

Warcraft (2016), a recap (part 3 of 7)

We’re watching Warcraft… …where everything’s made up, the points don’t matter, and nothing settles the hell down down long enough to cohere or resonate with the viewer in any way. In our previous segment, the orc advance guard have…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Jordon Davis · Nov 27, 2018

Hot Bot (2016), a recap (part 8 of 8)

Previously: I offered my 13 year-old son $50 to watch this movie on the theory that, if it was made for anybody, it was made for him. He turned it off after six minutes. Also, there’s a big chase between…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Nov 26, 2018

Warcraft (2016), a recap (part 2 of 7)

Last time on Warcraft: The peoples of the orc dimension, beset by environmental catastrophe, are seeking asylum in the wealthy lands of Azeroth. But be warned: when the orc dimension sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Jordon Davis · Nov 20, 2018

Hot Bot (2016), a recap (part 7 of 8)

Previously: Teenager Limus has fallen in love with a robot. She’s had her memory erased by the evil Senator Biter. Now he’s got her, and Limus is alone. It’s worse than it sounds. You know that feeling you get when…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Nov 19, 2018

Warcraft (2016), a recap (part 1 of 7)

Why are so many video game movies so bad? According to Rotten Tomatoes, the best-reviewed video game adaptation in history was this year’s Tomb Raider reboot, favored by a crushing 51% of critics. We’ve been at this for twenty-five years…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Rob Kirchgassner · Nov 14, 2018

Bride of the Monster (1955)

There are varying degrees of both good and bad when it comes to movies, of course. Some movies are so awful they’re only worth watching just once, but others are bad in such an enjoyable way that you can’t help…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Jordon Davis · Nov 12, 2018

Hot Bot (2016), a recap (part 6 of 8)

Previously: I advised men not to place their penises into fruit that’s been heated to 38 degrees above boiling, and someone in the comments section objected to it. Also, a sexbot is being chased by a United States Senator and…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Jordon Davis · Oct 30, 2018

Hot Bot (2016), a recap (part 5 of 8)

Previously: Senator Biter ordered a sexbot, but now she’s in the hands of two teenage boys. They’ve got her stashed in a motel for the night and this is… part 5? Seriously? I have got to get my life together.…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Jordon Davis · Oct 25, 2018

Hot Bot (2016), a recap (part 4 of 8)

Previously: Vaguely successful fashion model Cynthia Kirchner thought she got her big acting break when asked to star in a teen sex comedy, but it doesn’t seem to be working out the way she’d hoped. Limus needs a place to…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Rob Kirchgassner · Oct 24, 2018

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

Over 25 years before Young Frankenstein hit cinemas, another classic comedy involving Mary Shelley’s creation made a memorable impression on audiences. That movie, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, was ambitious for a number of reasons. One of these was…