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Last time on Demolition Man: After having dinner at Taco Bell and thwarting Edgar Friendly’s attempt to steal food for his people, Spartan botched a virtual sex encounter with Lenina. But after playing a hunch, Spartan discovered Cocteau might…
Previously: Simon Phoenix visited a museum (probably for the first time in his life) to get his hands on a gun, and he and John Spartan squared off there. Phoenix escaped and met Cocteau, who—surprise, surprise—is the true villain, having…
Previously: Simon Phoenix was let loose on an unsuspecting 21st century, killing 11 people (I figured out later the 11th would have been the poor bastard he got his overalls from). The police, unequipped to deal with violence, have awakened…
Previously on Harley Quinn & Friends: All the movie’s colorful mismatched personalities with their own motivations have finally realized that they have to team up and kick ass for womankind against the marauding fuckboi army.
The girls engage in…
Last time on Curds of Whey: An insanely valuable diamond is currently traversing the colon of the school-aged thief Cassandra Cain, and a group of badass babes with improbable personal connections to her are all wanting to get it…
For the most part, the 1990s weren’t a good time for Sylvester Stallone. After a finishing out the previous decade strong with films like Tango & Cash and Rambo III (the less said about Lock Up, the better), he…
Previously on Birds of Prey, Yup, Just Birds of Prey, That’s The Whole Title: Harley Quinn broke up with Joker. That’s good! But without Joker’s protection, Harley’s in the crosshairs of Roman Sionis AKA Black Mask, who wants to…
Previously on BoPatFEoOHQ: Professional bad girl Harley Quinn read enough Tumblr posts to convince her that her relationship with the Joker was abusive and needed to end. She blew up a chemical plant to show how Not Mad she…
It was perhaps inevitable that the 2020 female-centric superhero movie Birds of Prey: Harley Quinn’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day would become the subject of several rich and pungent threads of Film Discourse. A lot of this discourse…
When we last left our band, they abducted the princess but Valeria paid with her life. And now with Thulsa Doom on his way to reclaim what is his, Conan and Subotai must prepare for the fight of their lives!…
Last time, Conan attempted to stealth his way through a level and got caught, tortured, and left for dead. His friends saved him, but at what cost?
Conan practices the katas his masters in the East had taught him, seemingly…
When we last saw our hero, he had left his friends Subotai and Valeria behind to pursue his path of vengeance against Thulsa Doom. After a considerable ride, he came across pilgrims traveling to Doom’s “mountain of power”, as well…
When we last left our (ahem) heroes, Conan and Subotai had met a new friend, a woman (played by Sandahl Bergman). Whose name is never, ever stated in the movie. She’s Valeria, by the way, and yes, for convenience’s sake…
When we last left our favorite (and apparently last) Cimmerian, he had gone from boy to man, and from pushing a wheel to dealing death to the roar of the crowd. We open now with him being “taken to the…
There are those who trash the United States, but for me I think it’s a wonderful place. Where else can an Austrian body builder become one of the most iconic personalities in the world, having an impressive Hollywood career, marrying…
Previously: 2019 ended and 2020 started, pretty much on time. Disney+ added the live-action remake of Aladdin, possibly the least necessary film ever made. Oh, you mean in this movie? Captain Holland has concluded that Dr. Reinhardt is probably…
Previously: The crew of the damaged Palomino met the definitely not crazy commander of the legendarily lost starship Cygnus. He’s got a crew of robots running the place led by the definitely not robot murderer of the original human crew,…
Previously: V’Ger threatened to destroy all life on Earth, leading both Kirk and the screenwriters to completely wing it, coming up with a plan on the fly that sees the Enterprise get drawn even deeper into the alien vessel for a personal meeting with V’Ger itself.
Previously: The small crew of the USS Palomino was surprised to find the very large and very lost USS Cygnus on the edge of a black hole. They were forced to dock and explore the ship for reasons. Those reasons…
Previously: Nothing. Nothing happened. The small exploratory starship USS Palomino found the long-missing big exploratory starship USS Cygnus near a black hole. That’s it. You are all caught up. Also, I misidentified long-time character actor Robert Forster as “Robert Forester”…
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