VIDEO: Captain America (1979)

In The Following Special Presentation, Stan looks at cheesy TV movies, and they don’t get much cheesier or TV movie-er than 1979’s Captain America, starring Reb “Big McLargeHuge” Brown as the Sentinel of Liberty. There’s no Red Skull or HYDRA or Cap getting entombed in a block of ice in this movie, just a big doof with overinflated biceps riding his motorcycle and battling Wink Martindale’s evil twin.

Be sure to stay until the end! As a valuable public service, Stan and the Ferguson Players will be performing every important plot point from this movie, in less than three minutes. You’re welcome!

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Stan Ferguson

Born in the Yukon to a family of Grizzlies, Stan was raised on a diet of show-tunes and compact cars until he was finally released upon an unsuspecting public who went on not suspecting anything and still do not suspect a thing to this day.

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  • Cristiona

    One down, two to go!

    I’ve been wondering, though: where do you get those preempting bits? Youtube? I like to imagine that you have this huge warehouse of special presentations and just transfer from the VHS. Or even better, Betamax.

    • That’s a Dr.O’Boogie thing since he edits these bad-boys (save for the skits-I’ve done the editing on those, though he did help on this one regarding a camera issue). I have no idea where he gets them, but they’re hilarious. I clearly remember them from my childhood.

      • Hellraiser

        Albert is more mischievously smarter than many of us realize sometimes.

        • Voyager 6

          The owls are not what they seem, either.

    • fearfanforever

      Pretty soon, my review of the 90’s CA will be up, so keep your eyes peeled.

  • cyberjohn

    really enjoyed your video stan I was wondering if you wer going to do another lifetime movie

    • There isn’t one currently in the pipeline; but, to be honest, I think MMISWD may be the most notorious of all of them. It incorporates all the tropes and manages to have the single worst title.

  • Eternalkhaos1

    Can’t wait to check it out (especially the Ferguson Players part)

    • Certainly hope we meet expectations. And hope that those expectations are low!

  • kennzeichen1d

    Seriously? The bodybuilder from “Space Mutiny”? Got another part? A STARRING ROLE?
    That´s “Birdemic”-level acting. This film should be rifftraxed.
    Also: “Sucker Punch” should be rifftraxed. So many motion pictures should be rifftraxed.
    Oh, and: nice video, keep ´em coming.

    • Check his IMdB page, he’s done a lot of crap. Space Mutiny was actually one of Reb Brown’s later roles. Research Strike Commando. He has an Oscar Moment in there that’ll bring a tear to at least one eye.

    • gijohn13

      You should check out Spoony’s videos, he’s actually done a lot of decent Reb Brown movie reviews.

      • Rieck Wittenberge

        Spoony, huh? Guess I saw him once spooning with some Nostalgia Chick or something,
        who is a obnoxious, smartypantish brat, that right? I don´t really know.

  • Bob Dole’s Revenge

    I have the exact same gun as the helicopter thug. It’s a Daisy BB gun.

  • Tamsin Parker

    Basically, some random guy is put on steroids and given a costume.

  • Fantasy Mission Force

    Also, the chick at the end was hot.

  • Olaf_the_Lofty

    If Steve’s ladies are hot, what is Kim Basinger? Bad Mendo!

    That Evel Knievel ramp during the scene where Steve is chasing the helicopter was a bit of a convenient thing to have lying about. It was particularly convenient that the helicopter happened to fly right over it at just the right height, too.

  • Grafty

    Good God, I didn’t know this existed. Noted for future avoidance.

    I’d like to add a wolfwhistle for the lady at the end of the video.

  • James Fox

    Planning to rip the TV special “It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Superman!”?

    • Maybe when the next Superman movie comes out…who knows?

    • Michael A. Novelli

      Ah yes, the episode of The Cinema Snob that cemented my desire to do video reviews. I heartily endore this idea…

  • catnews

    I saw this movie as a kid, but all I really remember is that I thought the doorstopper sound was cool.

    The three-minute recap never fails to make me crack up.

  • Allison Venezio

    Years before we put our faith in Blast Hardcheese, we had our doubts about Reb Brown as Captain America. To me, he’s just an overly buff former athlete turned actor with no ability to do the latter. I’m sure he was a decent football player, but honestly, did Hollywood think he had the charisma to be an actor? Honestly, I think he screams like a chick (“Now that I got that out of my system!”)

    Stan, excellent video review, and The Ferguson players were great! Burn it up doing the neutron dance! :-)

  • Voyager 6

    Captain America’s groinal bulge is terrifying. But not quite as terrifying as Harry Cavill’s in Prong Of Steel. That dong hump is visible from SPACE, mafakkas.

  • Voyager 6 again

    And the pre-empted That’s Incredible! for this?!! That’s almost treason.

    • They didn’t-it was on CBS, who was the Superhero Network at the time(The Incredible Hulk, Wonder Woman, The Amazing Spider-Man, these Captain America pilots and the one Dr. Strange pilot.) Even if it did preempt That’s Incredible (and it’s not really saying much in favor of these movies) at least Captain America was mildly entertaining, unlike That’s Incredible which was just bullshit anyway.

      • The pre-empt thing is a joke added to the beginning of all the episodes.

  • Gunflyer

    Oh my God, when you made that joke about the Neutron dance I laughed so hard I almost passed out from oxygen deprivation.

  • dang, baba o’reilly is cute, lol:)