The Apple Store Is Run By A Bunch Of Narcs

We do not understand why everyone has to be such a buzzkill. We’re not surprised that scolds like Senator Jeff Sessions got all sadness about talk of weed, but we expect a more chill attitude from the Apple Store, which should not be stopping us from playing a game where we build our weed empire on our iPhones, but they are. Bastards.

Apple pulled Weed Firm from its virtual shelves, just because you could pretend to run a weed empire.

Follow the story of an expelled botany sophomore Ted Growing as he inherits a growing operation and expands it. Learn to grow weed, plant new varieties to increase your yields, expand your customer base and interact with the characters to become the biggest weed dealer in town. Complete tasks to open new shelves in the store and become a more efficient and prosperous weed grower and seller.

Watch out for the thugs and cops.

Good luck! May Jah be with You!

See? That sounds perfectly harmless, and the video above explaining the gameplay appears to be narrated by our mom. Why does Apple have to be such a bunch of fuckin’ narcs anyway?

Also, too, they didn’t manage to scoop up ALL the weed games. Only the popular one.

You can find places to buy weed on the app store. You can rate different strains of weed. You can download apps that teach you more about marijuana, or get apps that will give you various cosmetic weed changes to your phone. You can even roll fake joints. You can’t, however, download a game where you grow marijuana. Other games, such as Weed Farmer and Weed Tycoon, remain active on the app store for now — but these games weren’t as popular or as well-rated as Weed Firm was.

Man, that is serious unfairness. Why is The Man trying to keep Weed Firm down? How long shall we have to suffer the persecution of playing less popular weed games on our phones? We can feel the boot on our neck tightening already. No weed, no justice, no peace.

We’ll just have to wait for Weed Firm 2, which will have magic mushrooms also too, and hope that Apple mellows out by then. Fuckin’ narcs.

[techdirt/Manitoba Games]

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  • Now I will never get to be a Weedlord.

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

      but if you work at it, you might still become a bonerhitler

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    you can still buy plenty of war apps and build an old fashioned dead body empire though, or build a criminal empire, or build a mobster empire or be a hitman. There’s several pages of first person shooter games so you can kill all the bad guys or zombies or monsters or just about anything else that you might want to kill. I’m so glad Apple has their priorities straight…

    • msanthropesmr

      This post was deleted.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    We had “Happy Weed” (pac-man with drugs, basically) on the computers in our journalism classroom in high school. When we upgraded to iMacs and installed the game, it was so fast that you couldn’t even play it any more. Good times . . .

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