Apr 29, 2018
Buy Katy Perry’s Regal New Perfume Or She Will Murder You
So Katy Perry, who I actually quite like musically (BECAUSE SHUT UP AND THAT’S WHY), has released a fragrance. I am perfectly aware that this is A Thing that celebrities do now. Taylor Swift has like one million of them, I think. Katy Perry does not seem to be loving her perfume in a gentle your-windsong-stays-on-my-mind sort of way. She seems to either be terrified of the concept, turning the whole thing into a disturbing art piece, or is getting ready to cut a bitch.
Do you want to buy perfume from this lady? No you do not, but you probably would because she might murder you in your sleep if you don’t. Sadly, the Daily Mail already made the joke I really hope I would have thought of about this outfit:
She finished off her look with some black shoes, her hair tied in plaits over her scalp and some gothic make-up.
Perry looked confident in the get-up despite looking like an overgrown version of Wednesday from the Addams Family, as she smiled for the cameras, showing off her co-ordinating red lips.
“Confident” is not exactly the term I would have chosen for the pic above, actually. “Homicidal” maybe. Maybe this was a glitch and a bad photo day and the commercial will be much less weird? HAHA of course not!
She’s Marie Antoinette! Oh wait she is not, because she is Liberated and Shocking and she is wearing the crown but in a sassy way. The slogan for the perfume is “Own the Throne.” So it smells like…Victory? Rebellion? A Coup d’etat? A toilet? Oliver Cromwell? I do not think I want to smell like Oliver Cromwell. Are these things that ladyish-type-people want to smell like? I do not know, but I’ll probably buy this perfume anyway just so as to not get killed dead by Katy Perry.
[Photo by PR Photos]