Boston Marathon Brought To Awed Standstill By Greatest Performance Art By Greatest Performance Artist

SONY DSCA year ago, there was a small to-do in Boston. Just your usual everyday thing, as long as you’re in Dresden in WWII. Yesterday Boston hit refresh on that awful day, with proud Bostonians running to the finish line on their once-mangled legs, only to find a big black backpack awaiting them. Surprise! It’s ART!

Edson reportedly told police when he was in custody that the bomb hoax was a piece of performance art. He had a streak of yellow paint down one cheek and a streak of blue paint down the other.

“I knew what I was doing. It was being conceived in my head. It’s symbolism, come on, it, the performance, got the best of me,” said [performance artist Kayvon] Edson according to a police report read by Assistant District Attorney Susan Terrey

According to the court-appointed psychologist who evaluated Edson, he has a history of mental health issues, which seems likely. But name a performance artist who doesn’t!

Is he any more mentally imbalanced than Chris Burden, who had himself shot?

Or our awesome friends in Throbbing Gristle? (Who are awesome?)

Or Bob Flanagan (ugh)?

Or GG Allin, with the constant throwing of blood and shit?

GG Allin never managed to terrorize an entire city; the greatest number of people he ever terrorized was however many hipsters fit into that one shithole punk place on the edge of town.

The ’80s was full of performance artists — building on COUM and Burden — dealing in their own bodily fluids, undoubtedly as a commentary on Reagan’s handling of AIDS. But how many of them dealt in other people’s effluvia? Well, maybe Divine.

But dog shit is so much less potent, so much less impactful, than blood and gore and tendons and bones and making an entire city feel FEAR.

Somebody get this man a Macarthur grant.

Or some help.


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  • zb77

    Think of jail as your new expressive studio space. We look forward to seeing what you can achieve there.

  • gullywompr

    And let’s not forget the Russian dude who nailed his testicles to the pavement in front of the Kremlin. That, my friends, is nuts.

  • Jaime Oria

    When it comes to modernism, it’s the easiest thing in the world to play the Philistine but conceptual and performance art often does attract the pretentiously clueless.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    But will it fill the space over the sofa? This is all that matters when it comes to judging art.