‘Blended’ Trailer Lets Adam Sandler And Drew Barrymore Poop On Nation Of Africa
We already know I have crap taste in movies, but in case you weren’t totally sold, here is further proof: I like romantic comedies with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore (together, not apart). I loved The Wedding Singer! And that one where she has (intentional) brain damage! So this thing, this thing where they take their soon-to-be-“Blended,” Brady-styley family, to Africa, is pretty much made for me. Single mom and dad and whatnot! Drew Barrymore, who is like my age basically! Spitting! So much spitting.
America, Adam Sandler is now officially spitting unchewed chicken wings and French onion soup on you, because the MPAA would not let him smear human shit on your face in a trailer, even an unrated one.
So, by Blended’s trailer, which we accidentally watched twice by accident while we were trying to get an embed code, and we officially award us this bottle of Layer Cake zinfandel as hazard pay, Adam Sandler takes Drew Barrymore to Hooters on a date, and she spits stuff on him. Then they go to Africa, because something, and they hate each other, but there are lions, and black guides who laugh at them just like the black guides laugh at the guy from “Wings” in George of the Jungle, which was a very funny movie shut up yes it was, and also I did have a three-year-old at the time what is your point, and they do fun stuff like parasailing but there doin it rong, and that is the whole fucking movie. Also they have kids, who say darndest things. Probably at some point an old lady will say a cuss? No, DEFINITELY at some point an old lady will say a cuss. Maybe an African lady! From the nation of Africa! That would be new!
This movie is going to make eight hundred billion dollars. Have a drink, America. It’s three o’clock somewhere.