Beyond the Poseidon Adventure (1979) (part 8 of 8)

Meanwhile, Svevo has made his way all the way to the dog-flap and stepped out onto the hull with his last henchman (David Birney Guy, in case you’re keeping track). So, wasn’t that way out blocked before? Help me out here. I can practically remember my own birth better than I can the beginning of this movie.

Celeste and Nurse Deanna, seeing as nothing is going on (which, you know, is to be expected at the climax of a film), have settled in for some girl talk. And no, they’re not talking about their perky boobs. Celeste says she only wants one guy to ever see the new invisible scar on her back. Yeah, guess who. Nurse Deanna starts to object, but Celeste defends her feelings.

Celeste: I know, he treats me like a creep. But at least he knows I’m alive!

Way to aim high there, Celeste. Wasn’t that Madonna’s reason for staying with Sean Penn as long as she did? This has to be the most absoludicrous rationalization of a pairing off in recent movie history. As proof of her inexplicable love, Celeste gets Tex to promise to pay off the mortgage on Mike’s tugboat. Tex agrees, saying it’s “jes’ bein’ decent.”

Caption contributed by Mark

“Well gosh darn it, little lady, I’m plumb out of yokelisms!”

To read the rest of this article, support the Agony Booth on Patreon.
This post is available to our patrons who pledge $5 or more per month on Patreon. Click the “Unlock with Patreon” button below to sign up with Patreon or to log in with your existing Patreon account.

Mark "Scooter" Wilson

Mark is a history guy, a graphics guy, a guy for whom wryly cynical assessments of popular culture are the scallion cream cheese on the toasted everything bagel of life. He spends his time teaching modern history at Brooklyn College, pondering the ancient Romans at the CUNY Graduate Center, and conjuring maps and illustrations for ungrateful bankers at various Manhattan monoliths. Readers are welcome to guess at reasons why he's nicknamed Scooter, with the proviso that all such submissions are guaranteed to be rather more interesting than the truth. Mark lives in the Midwood section of Brooklyn with a happy-go-lucky, flop-eared dog named Chiyo who is probably, at this very moment, waiting patiently for her walkies.

Multi-Part Article: Beyond the Poseidon Adventure (1979)

You may also like...

  • Francis Chu

    Again, the movie version and not the extended TV version.