Bert and Ernie, the Homophobic Baker, and Captain Picard

In Northern Ireland, a court of law has ruled against a bakery that refused to write a pro-gay slogan on a cake, finding the bakery owners guilty of discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. The cake, ordered for an event celebrating the International Day Against Homophobia, was to depict Sesame Street characters Bert and Ernie with the slogan “Support Gay Marriage.”

Wait. Since when are two middle-aged guys sharing a one bedroom apartment suspected of being gay?

Wait. Since when are two middle-aged guys sharing a one-bedroom apartment suspected of being gay?

The bakers say they weren’t discriminating by refusing to write a slogan they don’t believe in. Still, you have to imagine that some homophobia was involved since they probably don’t wholeheartedly endorse every “Happy birthday, Katie!” and “Congratulations, Brandon!” they ever scrawled in icing (they don’t even know that Katie person and everybody knows Brandon is a total dick).

To settle this matter, naturally we need the opinion of a starship captain. In a recent interview, noted LGBT rights champion Patrick Stewart spoke up to set the matter straight…and sided with the bakers, insinuating the desire not to write another person’s slogan on a cake is a “human rights issue.” Sounds like someone has been huffing frosting right out of the bag.

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