Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000) (part 6 of 10)

And so, in the face of certain defeat, Jonnie says that if they go back and learn about Psychlo weapons and technology, then they can fight back. He gives a big inspirational speech: “Our race is slowly dying and will soon be gone forever. Let it be said that we took this one chance… and fought!” How much time did he spend in that library? He must’ve come across a copy of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Man-Animals.

Jonnie’s Boys cheer and say they’ll fight with him. The Quest for Fire guys say they’ll fight “the beast” too. You knew they would, because in movies, all it takes is one speech to motivate people to sign up with the cause. “Hey, um, I’m gonna… you know, go to the battlefields and maybe get my head blown off. Anybody wanna join me?” “Yeah! I’m with you brother! Count us all in!”

However, John Travolta’s the name on the marquee, so they can’t kill him halfway through. So naturally, Jonnie decides not to shoot Terl and hands the gun back [!!]. Instead of blowing them all away, Terl just goes back into Dick Mode, insulting Jonnie and grabbing him by the neck. Now, obviously Terl doesn’t know the man-animal language, so he doesn’t know the specifics of the plan. But didn’t he get an inkling from all the hooting and cheering that maybe these guys are up to something?

But no, we continue, and Terl has something else to show Jonnie. Another Psychlo hovership lands nearby, and out comes Ker and… hey, it’s Chrissy! And she’s wearing a gigantic metal collar of her own! She must be getting into the S&M scene.

Caption contributed by Sillstaw

“It followed me home! Can I keep it?”

Terl tries to get Jonnie to admit that he knows her, but Jonnie denies it, saying she’s one of the ugliest women he’s ever seen. Ouch. Guess who’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight.

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Sillstaw joined the Agony Booth after finding the recap for Trail of the Pink Panther. An aspiring filmmaker (aspiring in the sense of "occasionally shoots video"), he likes watching movies to learn about form, style and other film-school pretenses. He is currently in the Witness Protection Program for an incident involving flowers and industrial chemicals that would make for one hell of a movie.

Multi-Part Article: Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000)

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