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Hit or Bomb? December 2018 movie predictions
Dec 6, 2018
Batman Forever (1995) (part 4 of 14)
As Batman clambers out of the vault and hauls Joe out, Two Face does a lot of melodramatic wailing. And then the following sequence of events defies even the movie’s own token nod to the laws of physics and plausibility. I can only attribute what happens next to magic. So here goes.
Batman fires his magic grappling hook at a magic bank wall, and because it has magic pneumatics, it’s powerful enough to break through the magic marble of the wall.
Then he clips his newly-launched rope to the chain supporting the vault, and then whips out a magic Bat-Blowtorch, which is magic and can cut through the magic chain that’s able to support the weight of a bank vault. The magic chain snaps, sending the vault (and Joe, who is now also magic) plummeting downward.
Oh, remember that magic, marble wall? Well, now the magic grappling hook is using it as a brace, and it can now support the weight of the entire bank vault. Also, Batman’s rope is magic too, because it just happened to be the exact requisite length for the vault to sail back into its housing.
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Dan Laurikietis
Dan is an actor, playwright, theatre director and writer of dubious literature. In order to feed his many substance dependencies, he also teaches high school drama. He lives in Northwest England with his fiance Lauren and his dog Molly. In his spare time Dan likes to squander his cash on books with pictures in them, DVDs and video games. He wishes he was more bohemian.
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