Batman #147 “Batman Becomes Bat-Baby” (part 2 of 2)

That night, Bat-Baby and Robin go on patrol, and come upon three bandits. Actually, some woman is just standing on the street, pointing at three guys running away, and calling them “bandits”. This is all the provocation Bat-Baby and Robin need to chase after them, pursuing the guys up a fire escape. But then again, they’re wearing fedoras and tweed suits. So they’ve got to be criminals.

Bat-Baby soon realizes his legs are too short to keep up. He spots a nearby tire-shaped helium balloon for the “ACME Tire Co.”, so he leaps over to it. It’s got a convenient rope tied to the bottom, and Bat-Baby hangs on as it lifts him up.

Now, what the heck was a helium advertising balloon doing floating so low to the ground? I’m beginning to think these versions of Batman and Robin have no actual skills. They just rely on incredible luck and circumstance to fight crime. In the other two stories in this issue, Batman managed to get out of situations because there just happened to be a shawl, or a ledge, or something else nearby right when he needed it most. So, I guess despite having enough of a disturbing imagination to come up with the Bat-Baby concept in the first place, the writers weren’t particularly talented at coming up with logical plot points.

The ACME balloon rises, carrying Bat-Baby up, and he notes that this is only possible because he currently doesn’t weigh that much. Wait a second—he has the strength of an adult, but not the weight of an adult? Arrggggh! This comic makes physics cry!

Bat-Baby leaps off the balloon onto the roof, landing on a random “taut wire”, as the narration calls it. Bat-Baby’s thought balloon notes another lucky consequence of his new condition, which is that the wire can actually support his babyfied weight.

With a “TWA-ANG”, Bat-Baby launches himself off the wire at the three criminals, and knocks them over. Robin the Slow Wonder finally arrives, and congratulates Bat-Baby on a job well done. And then in the next panel, we learn that news of Bat-Baby knocking the wind out of three guys in fedoras has made front page headlines in less than an hour.

Caption contributed by Lewis

“Bat-Baby in torrid affair with Paris Hilton!” “Bat-Baby Wins World Series!” “Superbaby to Bat-Baby: DROP DEAD”

Back at Wayne Manor, Bruce-Baby, Alfred, and Dick are hanging out. Alfred looks out the window and sees Kathy Kane coming up the path. Kathy Kane was one of Bruce’s love interests at the time, as well as the erstwhile Batwoman from this era of the comics. Later on, it came to light that the character was created purely to dispel rumors about Batman and Robin being a gay couple. Though, in an issue where Robin is actually carrying Batman around in his arms, I’m not sure if her presence helps that much.

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Multi-Part Article: Batman #147 "Batman Becomes Bat-Baby"
Tag: Bizarre Silver Age Comics

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